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View Full Version : Reading Between The Lines: The Hilarious Preamble



Caitsidhe
07-28-2014, 09:31 PM
I just had a good time reading the Preamble written by Tom Kirby, the acting CEO and Chairman of Games Workshop. Judging by his comments, my own personal predictions of the upcoming numbers and direction were correct. I'm not creating this thread as an "I told you so," but rather as a careful parsing of his words.


Games Workshop has had a really good year. If your measure of 'good' is the current financial year's numbers, you may not agree. But if your measure is the long-term survivability of a great cash generating business that still has a lot of potential growth, then you will agree.

This is what he opened with. :D In other words, "The numbers are down. But trust me all that I did will pay off sometime down the road. Trust me please!"


Having taken on the conversion of our stores to a one man format with all the concomitant complexity of staff changes and new
sites and new lease negotiations – a long job not quite finished – we decided to re-arrange the management of our sales channels
from a country-based system to a central one. This meant removing four european headquarters, consolidating all trade (third
party) sales personnel at our Nottingham base, creating a new continental european grouping of our retail stores, and recruiting
new management for these divisions whilst flattening the structure by removing all middle management. At the same time we
changed leadership of our retail chain in the north american area, and gave birth to our new web store after many months’ labour.

Or in other words. "We have lost you so much money that we had to hide it. The only way we could do that was to fire most of our workforce, reducing our stores to one man operations. We didn't like the feedback we were getting from other managers who had the audacity to tell us we were doing things that didn't work in their countries, so we fired their ***** too by eliminating their jobs. To ensure the right "attitude" we will simply run everything from here. We will have no negativity and thus our productivity will return. We couldn't get rid of our American people (but we wanted to so bad) so we just replaced them with proper yes men for now. I expect we can get rid of them soon too. Ultimately as we continue to lose money we will eliminate even the one man stores and go entirely to web sales which we, your Board, can run from our own office."


All this has significantly de-risked the business. We have far fewer key personnel to replace if need be, and a much lower cost base
(£2 million p.a. less). It has cost, in total, around £4.5 million to accomplish. The new web store allows us to sell online more
efficiently. It cost around £4 million. This augurs well for our long term health and cash flow. What is really remarkable, however, is that it was all accomplished in five months. T he levels of complexity handled by our 'back office staff-personnel, IT and accounts-are beyond my descriptive abilities. And yet it was co-operatively done with precision, efficiency, and calmness at ferocious speed. We all owe these people a big vote of thanks. They have saved the company millions.
Working with people like this is why it is a pleasure to work here.

In other words, "We fired a lot of people. I kind of covered that already but we did it really well. We canned the hell out of them and downsized right and left. I mean can we issue the pink slips or what? This means more money for you stockholders I PROMISE. Don't mind the crappy numbers right now. They are going to get better now that my cabal will be running things from the back office. It is a real pleasure to fire people and work with a team that knows how to have them out of the cubical and on the curb in record time."


In the technological world we occupy there is constant debate over who 'innovates' and who merely copies. We have, this last year,
spent an indecent amount of your money trying to stop someone stealing our ideas and images. It is a very difficult thing to do
when it is done through a legal system designed to prevent people stealing hogs from one another. Our experience has probably
been typical of most – far too much money spent on far too little gain. The argument is that we have to do this or we will, bit by bit,
lose everything that we hold dear, everything that keeps the business going. Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?

In other words, "Now I know a lot of you who seem fixated on numbers have noticed how much money we wasted on failed legal attempts last year, but I assure you it was absolutely necessary. We can't afford to look weak you know. Those pathetic colonies don't even have a legal system worth mentioning. It was designed and remains only useful for regulating the theft or trade of hogs. That is the only reason we lost. But we HAD to fight. You must agree that I didn't make stupid choices."

*He fails to mention the fact that George Lucas lost in a like case in the U.K. many years before on the same points. I guess this means the British legal system is also only fit for hog trading. :D


Last year I published the secret that I believe is at the heart of what makes this business great. Steve Jobs once did the same over at
heavily litigating Apple. He said they ignored everything that did not lead to 'insanely great products' and that was what made them
great. None of the people Apple are suing are trying to do that, so why sue?
I said, ‘we recruit for attitude and not for skill’. It is what makes us great. It is those people who design the miniatures; those people
who make them and those people who sell them; those people who transformed our business systems in five short months. I have
been deluged with two comments about that statement, neither of which was: 'you fool, you just gave away the crown jewels'.
Why doesn't everyone do it? Ask them.

In other words, "I'm great. People just don't see that I'm Steve Jobs and Superman all rolled into one. What matters is that people recognize that, agree with it, and toe the line. Attitude is all that matters. Adjust yours now."


Because no one seems able to grasp the essential simplicity of what we do there has always been the search for the Achilles heel,
the one thing that Kirby and his cronies have overlooked. These are legion. I run through the list from time to time when someone
says that computer games will be the death of us – they are so much more realistic now! – again. This year it is 3-D printing. Pretty
soon everyone will be printing their own miniatures and where will we be then, eh?

In other words, "You are all idiots and just can't fathom my grand design. All my detractors are wrong. I'm going to debunk them right now with attitude instead of facts."



We know quite a lot about 3-D printers, having been at the forefront of the technology for many years. We know of what we speak.
One day 3-D printers will be affordable (agreed), they are now, they will be able to produce fantastic detail (the affordable ones
won't) and they will do it faster than one miniature per day (no, they won't, look it up). So we may get to the time when someone
can make a poorly detailed miniature at home and have enough for an army in less than a year. That pre-supposes that 3-D
scanning technology will be affordable and good enough (don't bet the mortgage on that one) and that everyone will be happy to
have nothing but copies of old miniatures. All of our great new miniatures come from Citadel. It is possible that one day we will sell them direct via 3-D printers to grateful hobbyists around the world. That will not happen in the next few years (or, in City-speak, 'forever') but if and when it does it will
just mean that we can cut yet more cost out of the supply chain and be making good margins selling Citadel 3-D printers.

In other words, "All this worry about 3D Printers is foolish. Not going to happen. Never going to take our place and even if it did we would make a profit from it. What do you mean that sound contradictory? Adjust your attitude."


At the heart of the delusion is the notion that designing and making miniatures is easy. It isn't.

In other words, "Nobody can do it but us. This notion of competition is foolish."


On the first of January next year I will be stepping down as CEO of Games Workshop. I intend staying on as non-executive Chairman
(if the board will have me), so those of you who want to see an end to these preambles (rhymes with rambles), don't get your
hopes up just yet.

IN OTHER WORDS, "I'm being fired. Because I'm a big stockholder and on the Board the company doesn't want me or themselves to lose face, so they are letting me step down. However, keep your damn ATTITUDE in line. I'm not going anywhere. They can't kick me to the curb. I"m not some poor employee like the ones I had fired. They are stuck with me and so are you. In fact, I'm putting them on notice right now I mean to remain Chairman of the Board. How do you like them apples?"


The board has prepared a job specification for CEO, and the consequential advertisement. The ad. will be published the day after
our AGM (September 18th). If you apply, we require that you write a letter saying why you want the job. No letter, no interview.
The interviews will take place on November 7th and will be at Nottingham. An announcement will be made the following week. We
have not decided what will happen if no suitable candidate is found but I suspect my wife will be livid.

In other words, "This is the part where I pretend I'm stepping down because my wife is demanding it. This is the standard talking point all CEOs stepping down give so it must be true. Normally, a sane company wouldn't have its active CEO declare stepping down until it had already hired a replacement, but since they are really firing my sorry butt before I do anymore damage, we are only just getting started on the hiring process. The ad will come soon so REMEMBER that we recruit for attitude and not skill. Pucker up boys and girls."


Let me dilate about this letter. Last year I wrote here about our recruitment process, and shortly afterwards we recruited a new
non-executive director (NXD) using the method described. We got a great (not good, great) new board member. She is still
surprised that I did not read her CV (exasperated would be a more accurate word) but there was no need. Her letter told us what
kind of person she was: sincere, open-minded, a learner, excited at the opportunity. The interview told us she had all the qualities
needed. It mattered not one jot what her CV said. Appointing NXDs because of their careers rather than who they are is at the
heart of the rot in the corporate world.

In other words, "You think I'm joking about puckering up? We took on this Lady last year without even reading her resume. We liked her attitude. That is how we roll. My snap judgments are infallible and I have no need of anything beyond seeing that a person is going to be willing to do things the Kirby way."

daboarder
07-28-2014, 09:45 PM
should probably go in the corporate discussion

Caitsidhe
07-28-2014, 09:48 PM
should probably go in the corporate discussion

It could, but it is just too damn funny to not have more people see it. Not that many read the Corporate. :D Kirby is a piece of work.

daboarder
07-28-2014, 09:50 PM
I'll say what I said down there. Until the report is out its still all speculation from both sides.

Caitsidhe
07-28-2014, 09:54 PM
I'll say what I said down there. Until the report is out its still all speculation from both sides.

Very true. It is still speculation. Even so, when your acting CEO opens with a statement which implies the numbers aren't good... you have to wonder." :D

daboarder
07-28-2014, 10:03 PM
sure you do, and if it turns out to be true I will be laughing very loud and long at those posters who attack people who actually explain why GWs business practices of the last half decade was only ever going to be a short term solution. But I can wait a few more days

daboarder
07-29-2014, 02:11 AM
See, NOW you can go gloat

Caitsidhe
07-29-2014, 03:11 AM
See, NOW you can go gloat

True. I had to post before the report though to remind people of my predictions. I had to put my money where my mouth is so to speak. Had I been wrong, I would have dutifully stood for the slings and arrows. Waiting until after the report would have been like trying to hedge my bet.

Fanboy
08-04-2014, 02:14 PM
Hello,


1. Kirby was an idiot, and it clearly showed with him devaluing to company, and the wonderful financial results.
2. Massive edition updates, and new rules every few weeks, and new kits, and new prices: Not appreciated by the market. Result: Loss of sales, Dreiving customer base away.
3. 40K accounts for a majority of all GW sales. A rule set (6/7th Ed) that is approx.. 200 pages long. How many 12 years are going to look at this, and dump it for another gaming system/PC game. No beginner/kid wants to wade through 200 pages of rules. Result: Few new start up gamers, poor sales. Stupid idea/strategy. Have a Basic rule set (40 pages), with additional optional and advanced rules (120 pages). Basic Rule set pulls in new/young gamers, and as they advance and gain gaming experience they 'add' optional and advance rules.....Once again the current rule set demonstrates GW lack of ability to address their target market.
4. Kirby was and is an idiot. No consideration for the target merket and customer. It would be really sad if he had to stay on........