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Nabterayl
03-08-2010, 10:49 PM
At Sir Biscuit's request (http://www.lounge.belloflostsouls.net/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=5714):

SKRAGA BLITZKRAG AND DA CIRCUS RUKKUS

HISTORY

Warboss Skraga Blitzkrag was the boss of a veteran tribe of Snakebites operating primarily on the Imperium’s southeastern fringe. Blitzkrag’s tribe participated in several different Waaaghs! over the years, always drifting on once the boss found “da party” “borin’.”

Blitzkrag’s orks had been fighting a particularly venomous strain of tyranid when they heard of Grog Ironteef’s second attack on the Tau Empire. Though Waaagh! Grog called particularly for heavily armed tribes, Blitzkrag thought that fighting the Tau would be a fun change of pace from their most recent foes. Additionally, Blitzkrag looked forward to showing both the Tau and his freebooter rivals that “da old ways” could overcome any amount of fancy taktiks or shiny up-gunned shootas. Thus did Skraga Blitzkrag join the War of Dakka.

Though he dismissed many of the tactics of his fellow warbosses as un-orky “dancin’ about,” Blitzkrag himself possessed an intuitive grasp of certain infantry tactics. His infantry assaults, though straightforward in conception, were well-coordinated and vigorously prosecuted. These simple tactics initially met with great success against Commander Farsight’s Tau. As the Waaagh! progressed and Tau tactics adapted, however, Blitzkrag increasingly found himself outmaneuvered and outgunned. He responded in the only way he could fathom: with greater aggression.

One fateful day, Blitzkrag found himself leading his boyz across an open field towards a Tau strongpoint atop a hill with good fields of fire, anchored by a Hammerhead gunship and a crisis suit team. The Tau were able to rain heavy fire upon his troops from well beyond the range of their primitive sluggas. Blitzkrag had nearly reached the crest of the hill when he was gruesomely scattered across its face by a barrage of seeker missiles fired from behind the next hill, guided by a pathfinder team he had stormed blindly past. Only the timely action of his faithful attack squig, Tim, preserved enough of the boss for the painboyz and meks to stitch back together. When his badly battered troops finally pushed the Tau off the hill, they found Tim guarding a pile of body parts, lovingly gnawing on his former master’s arm.

When Blitzkrag came to on the operating table he was horrified to see the extent of the cybork modifications necessary (or so the doks assured him) to treat his wounds. For a time he fell into a funk, believing that the sheer extent of green flesh replaced made him an abomination - or worse, weedy. If Blitzkrag's depression had resulted in a simple bad temper, likely no harm would have come of it. The actual result was far worse: Blitzkrag no longer found combat any fun. Indeed, he began to dread it. With his tribe hemorrhaging boyz, it seemed that Blitzkrag's fightin' days were numbered, his attempt to prove da old ways best a failure.

Ironically, it was another Hammerhead gunship that saved Blitzkrag's sanity. During a major battle Blitzkrag found himself tasked with punching a hole in Tau lines. A Hammerhead redeployed to reinforce the beleaguered fire warriors, and shredded Blitzkrag's bodyguard. The boss himself survived the storm of submunitions, however, and in desperation the crew of the Hammerhead switched their railgun to solid shot. By sheer chance the anti-tank round struck Blitzkrag square in the face - and bounced off an adamantium plate in his jaw. As the last of his bodyguard fell to the gunship's burst cannons, Blitzkrag leaped atop the tank and demolished it with the bullet-scarred remains of his favorite choppa.

This incident gave Blitzkrag a new perspective on his cybork body. He reasoned that his new shiny bits made him even harder than before — and what could be traditionally orkier than that? A similar thought process slowly revolutionized his view of orky warfare. Gork and Mork had made the orks to be not just the biggest, toughest, and greenest. Blitzkrag now found it unthinkable that orks should not also be the fastest and shootiest around. After all, fast was good, and shooty was good, and the number one rule of orkiness was that orks were best.

With his newly expanded view of green supremacy, Blitzkrag set about rebuilding and expanding his tribe. He found a ready supply of well-equipped replacements in the numerous freebooter mobs in the Waaagh! As word spread that Blitzkrag was back and ‘arder than ever, orks began to flock back to his tribe of their own accord. One of these was Gulgor Skulmek, who was delighted to find that Blitzkrag’s appetite for guns, dreads, and wagons was insatiable.

Battlefield experience soon validated Blitzkrag’s revelation: the only thing more fun than krumpin’ an enemy face to face was krumpin’ that enemy with a power klaw after leaping from a battlewagon that had just squashed half a dozen of his mates. Skraga Blitzkrag found that he was having more fun in the War of Dakka than he had had in decades.

Such was his success that Grog Ironteef “rewarded” Blitzkrag with custody of a conquered sept world while the rest of the Waaagh! moved on. Blitzkrag soon discovered that most of Tau society was dreadfully dull compared to the entertainment provided by the fire caste, and the remaining kroot mercenaries who had taken to the woods to wage a guerrilla war were poor sport. It was not long before Blitzkrag, bored out of his skull, decided to abandon the conquered sept world in search of a fresh fight. Though the captured Tau starships he had inherited with his “governorship” were disconcertingly predictable compared to the space hulks he was used to traveling aboard, Blitzkrag embraced the novel opportunity to dictate his destination with relative certainty.

He settled eventually upon the Carthian Sector, north of Tau holdings. It was close enough to make for a short journey and offered a wide variety of potential opponents. Best of all, it was not home to an active Waaagh!, a fact which Blitzkrag intended to remedy. A counter-attacking task force from Commander Farsight sent to retake Blitzkrag’s world was stunned to see the orks apparently fleeing the system. The orks departed without firing a shot. For Skraga Blitzkrag, the party was elsewhere.


SKRAGA BLITZKRAG
“Being ‘ard is good. Being ‘arder den you is orky.”

Skraga Blitzkrag is the veteran of at least fifty years of active campaigning. Like many orks of the Snakebite clan, he has spent a good deal of his life traveling through space, always looking for a new challenge. In fact, he has spent so much time drifting through the warp that even Blitzkrag himself has no idea how old he is.

Blitzkrag is, even moreso than most orks, a true believer in green supremacy. Once a hardline traditionalist, his experiences during the War of Dakka have given Blitzkrag a much more inclusive view of orky nature. His violent racism now manifests itself as a desire to be the biggest, toughest, choppiest, stompiest, shootiest, burniest, hardest, fastest, and anything else-est being the eye can see, and he pursues his goal with a single-minded determination to wipe out any rivals to his superlativity. Blitzkrag harbors a particular resentment against enemy tanks, as all of them have the audacity to be bigger than he (his own battlewagons are exempt, reportedly because “dey’ze not bigger’n me if I can ride ‘em, see?”)

Despite the violence with which he stomps his foes flat, Blitzkrag is fundamentally a happy-go-lucky greenskin. He fights for the fun of it, and quickly loses interest in “parties” that don’t promise hard fighting. One of the few things that can consistently focus Blitzkrag’s attention is a challenge to his orky superiority. Unfortunately, he tends to view most opponents as challenging his natural supremacy. When faced with a new foe, Blitzkrag can be counted on to draw upon his many decades of experience and intuitive tactical flair to cheerfully prove his superiority by systematically bashing his opponent’s head in — at least until it’s clear that the foe can offer no more meaningful resistance.

Skraga Blitzkrag has earned the nickname "Da Patient," though few of the newcomers to his tribe know why. Some of the more kultured boyz speculate that the nickname might be an orky pun on the Tau doctrine of kauyon. Those with less imagination figure it's because he can plan an assault before roaring towards the enemy on his kustom warbike, rather than the other way around. The few hardliners who stuck with the boss through his darkest days during the War of Dakka know differently, though. When he is alone, Blitzkrag still occasionally falls into a depression where he has no appetite for battle. Ironically, it is during these despondent times that his best taktiks come to him, so they are arguably largely to credit for the tribe's success. Nevertheless, those few associates who know of Blitzkrag's depression fear for their boss' sanity.

Blitzkrag refers to his burgeoning Waaagh! as “Da Circus Rukkus,” and to his personal warband as “Da Party Krew.” Originally an enthusiastic but unsophisticated foot-slogging horde of choppa-wielding boyz, Blitzkrag has expanded Da Circus to include a bewildering array of “fun bitz.” These range from massive battlewagons cobbled together from destroyed vehicles to defeaning kustom shootas to smoke-belching warbikes, all coordinated with surprising forethought to support the singular goal of crushing the enemy in a power klaw-like vise. Da Circus also includes a large number of unusually high-quality squigs and gretchin troops, a legacy of Blitzkrag’s runtherd experience as a yoof.


GULGOR SKULMEK
“You call dat a wagon? It’s only got one wagon on it!”

Gulgor da Skulmek is the biggest big mek in Da Circus Rukkus. By mek standards, Gulgor is something of a Renaissance ork. Besides his wide-ranging technical expertise (or at least wide-ranging technical instincts), Gulgor is an accomplished squig trainer and enthusiastic hand to hand combatant.

It is rare to find big meks among the Snakebite clan, but Gulgor has always been odd even among oddboyz. He is famously fond of his cybork attack squig, Orkimedes, whom he claims to have trained to perform battlefield repairs on orky wagons and is allegedly responsible for giving Gulgor most of his best ideas.

Gulgor has a penchant for looting other races’ weapons and vehicles that rivals most Deathskulls’. Unlike a Deathskull mek, however, Gulgor proudly displays such trophies in his creations in their original colors (perhaps with a little extra blood) and in their original condition (more or less). Gulgor sees this “collect an’ konvert” practice as showcasing the superiority of orky know-wots over other races’ plodding, deliberate approach to teknologee. In Gulgor’s view, simply “bashin’ about” a machine relying on orky instinct not only produces war machines of equal if not superior power; it also leaves more time for bashin’ about the enemy.

This attitude meshed well with Blitzkrag’s radical green supremacy, as did the warboss’ insatiable demands for new krumpin’ gear. Shortly after joining Da Circus, Gulgor and Orkimedes stomped their way to the head of the tribe’s meks and established themselves as Blitzkrag’s right-hand orkoids. Since da party’s arrival in the Carthian Sector, Gulgor has found a veritable cornucopia of new challenges to his teknological superiority—not to mention raw material for new creations.


DA CIRCUS RUKKUS
"Waaagh!"
Da Circus Rukkus, despite its warlord's aspirations, is not yet a true Waaagh! In fact, by orky standards, Blitzkrag's army is quite small. Its exact numbers are impossible to determine, partially because none of the orks care and partially because no ork in the army could possibly count that high anyway, even if all da ladz would hold still. Adding to the confusion are the numerous freebooter bands who are sometimes attached to the army and sometimes not. Based strictly on the transport capacity Blitzkrag brought to the Thetis system, however, Carthian intelligence estimates Da Circus at something like half a million orks, with perhaps another half million fighting gretchin. These estimates will no doubt soon be woefully out of date, as the casualties suffered by the orks during their conquest of Thetis III surely spread orkoid spores throughout the planet. Preliminary reports suggest that the native orks of the Thetis system, themselves never adequately tallied by their Imperial foes, have also fallen under Blitzkrag's sway. While the Waaagh! is still in its nascent stages, it presently appears that Blitzkrag has all he needs to turn Da Circus Rukkus into Waaagh! Skraga as well.

Nabterayl
03-08-2010, 11:00 PM
And Blitzkrag's personal biker gang:

WAZZAG REDWHEEL, DA ORKOID TYPHOON
"Dangerous toyz is fun. You could get 'urt, heh heh."

Wazzag Redwheel is a member of Skraga Blitzkrag's retinue of warbikers. Originally the leader of a freebooter Kult of Speed biker gang, Redwheel challenged Blitzkrag to a race and lost when Blitzkrag shot his bike out from under him. Impressed, Wazzag joined Da Circus Rukkus along with his gang.

During the conquest of Thetis III, Wazzag earned the nickname "Da Orkoid Typhoon" for his habit of zooming at high speeds through kroot-held forests, a crimson blur with his red-painted warbike and signature red duster. His performance during this campaign earned Wazzag a place among Blitzkrag's personal biker gang.

Wazzag can always be seen at the front of a battle, either riding with Skraga Blitzkrag or, previously, at the head of his own biker gang. Da Typhoon is an easy figure to distinguish on the battlefield, with his scarlet coat and warbike. Despite this, he has a penchant for passing through storms of enemy fire unharmed. Wazzag himself credits his coat and bike for his remarkable good fortune, since as everyone knows, da red wunz go fasta. In fact, most of Wazzag's cybork shiny bits have been installed not to repair wounds received in battle but simply as "eksperiments," particularly at the hands of Dok Grozkor. After such incidents the dok often claims that he was tinkering with Wazzag's bike and simply upgraded the wrong part. Given Wazzag's habit of sleeping in the saddle, some of these stories may even be true.

KORPORAL ZURGOSH DREADSLOG
"Surprise!"

Zurgosh Dreadslog was a kommando nob with too much imagination. During the War of Dakka, Zurgosh's kommandos were tasked with eliminating a key Tau outpost supplying a section of the front line under assault by Skraga Blitzkrag's tribe. Zurgosh reasoned that, as his kommandos were always sneaking quietly from cover to cover, the best way to retain the element of surprise was to charge headlong at the enemy as fast as their legs could carry them. While the Tau defenders certainly were surprised, Zurgosh's unorthodox "infiltration" tactic also gave them plenty of warning to mount a strong defense.

Ironically, the maneuver worked anyway. Believing that only a sizeable ork force would dare charge a defended position in so brazen a fashion, the Tau badly overestimated Zurgosh's numbers and pulled troops from the front line to defend against the second attack.. This allowed Blitzkrag to break through, and his orks caught the outpost in a vice.

Despite the success of the mission, Zurgosh's kommandos were decimated before Blitzkrag's "reinforcements" arrived. The few survivors quietly snuck away while Zurgosh looted teef from the fallen. Their desertion caused Zurgosh great confusion. To his mind, his plan had worked perfectly: the Tau had been surprised, and a merry fight had followed. Blitzkrag recruited him on the spot, offering him a place in his personal biker gang. Zurgosh was delighted to accept, as the bike he purchased with his newfound teef made him far faster than before. To add to its stealthiness, Zurgosh had his bike kustomized to produce even greater clouds of exhaust than a normal warbike. So far, Zurgosh's judgment appears to have been vindicated. The enemy always has a shocked look on their faces when Zurgosh tears into their lines, roaring, "Surprise!" at the top of his lungs.

Like the rest of Blitzkrag's gang, Zurgosh has been shot to pieces and stitched back together so many times that he is as much machine as ork. The true extent of his cybork modifications may never be known, however. A kommando to the core, Zurgosh is always heavily loaded with weapons and ammunition that obscures his cybernetics. Some of the bandoliers appear to feed his bike's dakkaguns from within his own body, however, and Zurgosh claims persistently that his cybork eyes can see in the dark - a dubious claim given his performance in night missions, though that may be attributable to his unorthodox ideas of stealth. When questioned, the korporal refuses to give a straight answer about his cybernetics, claiming that doing so could "endanger da mission."

TAGGATZ BLUEFIST
"I believes you 'as somefink wot belongs ter me."

Taggatz Bluefist is a Deathskull biker, looter, and inveterate liar of epic proportions. He has been a member of Blitzkrag's retinue for so long that not even Blitzkrag remembers when he joined the tribe, and every time he is asked Taggatz gives a different answer. He has claimed to be the incarnation of Gork (or maybe Mork), an orky "freedom fighta" from Scott's Planet, and even the coalescence of a particularly virulent squiggoth fart. He refuses to acknowledge consistently that he is not a member of the Snakebite clan, despite wearing the blue warpaint of the Deathskulls and clearly adopting the Deathskull philosophy towards the "acquisition" of wealth.

Bluefist serves as the biker gang's quartermaster or "procura extra-good." He rides a warbike still identifiable as coming from the legendary Ravenwing of the Dark Angels chapter, though Bluefist himself claims the space marines stole it from him. His bike is festooned with other such "misplaced" property, including enemy heads. By far his most identifiable piece of property, however, is his enormous kustom choppa. This fearsome weapon, as tall as an ork, has earned Taggatz Bluefist the sobriquet "The Axe" among his foes.

Though Bluefist is as much cybork as any other member of Blitzkrag's biker gang, it is not readily apparent from looking at him. He conceals his cybornetics beneath blue warpaint, which suggests a truly frightening amount of adamantium flesh.

DOK GROZKOR
"'Good as new?' If new wuz so good you wouldn't be 'ere, now wouldja? Trust me - I gots just wot you needs."

Dok Grozkor - or, as he prefers to call himself, Grozkor Orkmek - has been Skraga Blitzkrag's personal surgeon since the fateful day when he came across the boss' scattered remains being collected by Tim the squig. It was Grozkor who saved Blitzkrag's life with nothing more than a pile of adamantium scraps, an adventurous attitude, and good old orky know-wots. Grozkor was thus also responsible for plunging Blitzkrag into his black depression. When Blitzkrag realized what Grozkor had done to him, he mauled the dok so badly that he had to use some of the leftovers from Blitzkrag's surgery on himself. Since then, the two have reached an understanding: Grozkor rides with the boss as his personal surgeon, and Blitzkrag gets to keep the dok where he can see him.

Like Gulgor, Grozkor is something of a renaissance ork. He prefers to think of himself as an "orkmek" rather than a mere "dok," who "repairs" and "upgrades" rather than heals. Though not a true mekboy, he has a long-standing fascination with all things metal and can often be found tinkering with the gang's bikes and guns. Grozkor's true love, however, is surgery - the more challenging, the better. Nothing makes him happier than repairing his fellow gang members in the midst of a swirling melee, plunging bone saw and 'urty syringe into friend and foe alike while riding his bike at breakneck speed.His apparently indiscriminate use of the tools of his trade leaves the rest of the gang more than a little apprehensive, but there is a method to Grozkor's madness, and none can deny his uncanny skill.

Unfortunately, many can deny his judgment, and with good reason. Each time Grozkor performs major surgery on a mortally wounded comrade, "da subject" wobbles out of Grozkor's garage with just a few more shiny bits than would seem to be strictly necessary. Grozkor waves any complaints aside, telling his "subjects" to "leave dat to da profeshonuls."

THRAKA "BULL" UROK
"I only needs ter know two fings about da enemy: where is dey, and who's bringin' da beer?"

Thraka Urok is a Goff through and through, from the toes of his steel-shod boots to the tips of his horned helmet. An uncomplicated soul even by orky standards, Urok thinks of nothing but fighting, eating, and drinking. He won his warbike in a drunken brawl he has no memory of, and would have sold it for teef had he not discovered that by minimizing the time between fighting and feasting, the warbike allowed him to do more of both.

Though violent in the extreme, Thraka is not imaginative enough to challenge the status quo except by accident. He has no true loyalties, only instincts - but his instincts are traditional, predictable, and easily manipulated. He defers to Skraga Blitzkrag instinctively because Blitzkrag is larger than he is, and it never occurs to him that things might be different if he made them so. Thraka thus acts as Blitzkrag's de facto enforcer among the Krew, as well as something of a mascot to the biker gang. So long as there is food and fungus beer, Thraka can be counted on to fight - and if there is no food or beer, he will start a fight to get some. In this way the indefatigable "Bull" keeps everyone on their toes and in fighting trim.

Nabterayl
03-08-2010, 11:02 PM
And some of the principal units of Da Party Krew:

KRAZHGOR WAAAGHFIST
"When da boss ain't around, I'm da big boss!"

Krazhgor Waaaghfist is a Blood Axe warboss with Da Circus Rukkus. An exceptionally cunning warboss by orky standards, Krazhgor joined his warband to Blitzkrag's tribe during Blitzkrag's darkest depression. Blitzkrag appeared to be losing his mind, and Krazhgor reasoned that as the second largest ork in the tribe he would soon add Blitzkrag's forces to his own. Unfortunately for Krazhgor, Blitzkrag didn't lose his mind. Instead the warlord rebounded, and new orks flocked to his banner. Krazhgor found himself swept along - his own boyz, initially reluctant to join Blitzkrag's tribe, were now enthusiastically for it. Krazhgor dared not split with Blitzkrag for fear of losing his warband.

Neither did he dare to challenge Blitzkrag for control of the tribe. Skraga Blitzkrag was a tough old campaigner and veteran duelist even before his cybork conversion. Now he was armed with a killa kan buzzsaw for an arm and increasingly fired by the power of the Waaagh! as his tribe swelled. Though large and by no means a weakling himself, the younger Krazhgor did not fancy his chances in open combat. Instead he contented himself to scheme behind Blitzkrag's back, attempting to sway more nobz and boyz to his camp even as he took Blitzkrag's orders. Blitzkrag is not blind to Krazhgor's ambitions, but he accepts - even welcomes - the occasional mutiny as the price of success. Additionally, Krazhgor is one of Blitzkrag's more competent warbosses. For an ork, he has a deep understanding of stealth tactics. This makes him the perfect choice to lead dangerous semi-independent operations behind enemy lines. Krazhgor's hunger to prove himself Blitzkrag's equal in the eyes of Da Circus push him to excel, and there is always the chance that he will be killed before Blitzkrag has to do the job himself.

In personality, Krazhgor suffers from the singularly un-orky defect of thinking too much. This is his gift and his curse. It allows him to plan operations that few other orks could even imagine, and his tricks and strategems have won him several signature victories (as well as several signature losses, usually because his plan was too complex for his subordinates to understand, let alone implement). On the other hand, however much he tries to hide his intellectual side, the ladz under his command instinctively sense that there is something amiss with him. Simply put, Krazhgor sometimes seems too much like a human for comfort, which can only mean that somewhere deep inside he is small, pink, and soft.

This instinctive suspicion, conveyed to his orks by the latent psychic network that links all orkoids, is offset by the obvious physical facts that Krazhgor is large, green, and tougher than old boot leather. For the most part these mixed signals cancel each other out, and Krazhgor is able to keep control of his warband. Nevertheless, Krazhgor worries that he is not orky enough (itself an un-orky concern), and he often overcompensates. He once chopped off his left hand and had it replaced with a power klaw to prove how hard he was, inadvertantly copying Skraga Blitzkrag in the process. He tries to compensate for his over-active mind by acting with extra brutality. While there is nothing wrong with extra brutality per se, Krazhgor's tends to feel forced - as if the warboss himself doesn't truly believe himself to be up to the job.

'IGH MASTA BOSS SARJENT MORTUF
"Pla-TOON! Ready ... steady, boyz ... aim ... wait fer it ... DAKKADAKKADAKKA!"

Mortuf is the self-proclaimed "platoon sarjent" of a mob of shoota boyz in Skraga Blitzkrag's Party Krew known as the Grim Boyz. He is a militaristic nob who delights in discipline, drill, and bellowing orders. Suspicious (some would say paranoid) by nature, Mortuf considered joining the stormboyz early in his adult life but could not find a mek he trusted to build him a rokkit pack. Instead he built the Grim Boyz from scratch as a kind of stormboyz on foot.

Initially the mob attracted only yoofs who would have joined a stormboyz mob but were too poor to buy a rokkit pack. As this generally meant they were too weedy to keep their own teef, Mortuf's original Grim Boyz were a motley crew of weaklings and misfits. "Da Sarj" whipped them into shape, drilling them till they dropped and kicking them while they were down. His brutal but effective regimen was vindicated during the War of Dakka, when the unit was the first to breach the defenses of the town of Kau'M'Shi. In recognition of his success, Mortuf offered himself a promotion to "lootenant," but turned it down to "stay wiv da ladz."

Mortuf is an eccentric nob, but against all odds his peculiar brand of orky toughness and humie-like training has endeared him to the Grim Boyz to the point that they treat him almost like a warboss. Militarily, his training regimen leaves much to be desired. Some drills, such as physical training and advancing in open order, have served the unit well in combat. The utility of others, such as "volley dakka," may be questioned. Regardless, it makes for an interesting change of pace from the rest of orky society without ever quite becoming weedy. Life in the Grim Boyz suits those who choose it, and none more than Mortuf himself. Of course, as the nob of a successful mob, Mortuf has had to defend his position several times. This has only reinforced his natural paranoia, and the heartening displays of da sarj's toughness only cause his boyz to endure his beatings and tirades with greater cheerfulness.

As for Skraga Blitzkrag - "Sir" to Mortuf, much to Blitzkrag's confusion - the warlord finds Mortuf a useful ace in the hole. For reasons known only to Mortuf, da sarj views Blitzkrag as his "superior offisah." This loyalty, combined with Mortuf's natural paranoia, allows Blitzkrag to quietly dispatch the Grim Boyz on missions to serve as his eyes and ears within the army. Though Blitzkrag would never demean himself by ordering the assassination of a fellow ork, more than one ambitious upstart has spontaneously found himself "relieved of kommand" by Mortuf's slugga.

URG SKULSMASHA
"Not so tough now, are ya?"

Urg Skulsmasha is a vicious, sadistic nob who leads a mob of like-minded boyz known as the Grot Stompaz. A Goff through and through, Urg lives for close combat. He is proficient with slugga and stikkbomb, but is a true terror with his power klaw. Though his mob had traveled with Blitzkrag since the War of Dakka, Urg came to Blitzkrag's attention during the conquest of Thetis III in the Brightsword enclave, when he single-handedly ripped apart an entire crisis suit team. Soon thereafter the Grot Stompaz were made a part of Da Party Krew, Blitzkrag's elite personal warband, and have formed the core of many a hard assault.

Urg rules the Grot Stompaz with an iron fist. Such is his reputation for brutality that Urg's mob has charged Imperial fortresses, greater daemons, necron Monoliths, and eldar wraithlords rather than face his wrath. He eschews all forms of battlefield transport, believing them to be signs of weakness - it is said he would walk through the warp itself if he could, and has tried on more than one occasion. Urg always leads his boyz from the front, his squat legs propelling his black-armored bulk tirelessly forward. Nevertheless, the Grot Stompaz are convinced that Urg knows when a boy is holding back and will kill the coward later. Of course, Urg has slain so many of his own troops that he has likely punished many shirkers strictly by accident.

GHAZ TWO-TEEF
"Any nob can be armed to da teef. Da question is, 'ow many teef does dey got?"

Ghaz Two-Teef is a Bad Moons nob who leads a large mob of "dakkaladz" who share his obsession with the acquisition of guns, ammo, guns, armor, and guns.

As a yoof, Ghaz discovered that though he inclined towards the Bad Moon view of orkiness, he did not share the genetic quirk of many Bad Moons that enabled him to grow teef more quickly than other orks. If anything, he seemed to grow teef less quickly, which led to his nickname of "two-teef." Undeterred, Ghaz judiciously invested his small nest egg in a small arms shop with a mekboy named Gulgor. While Gulgor bashed about his workshop, Ghaz managed the duo's profits. Gulgor's destructive ingenuity allowed Ghaz find several posthumous investors in the business by making them "an offer dey couldn' refuse," and so the business continued to grow.

The partners' size grew with their "business," and before long Ghaz ran a veritable empire of organized crime. His obsession with teef has led him to establish an efficient racketeering and extortion operation, and many an ork has had his personal belongings "repossessed" by Ghaz' flash gitz enforcers. Ghaz surrounds himself with a bodyguard mob of dakkaladz to protect himself from reprisals, preferring to use regular boyz for the purpose because he has less to fear from them.

Despite his extortionist tactics, Ghaz' empire actually provides Da Circus Rukkus with a vital and unusually well-organized market. Two-Teef's reach extends even beyond Da Circus into several other tribes, allowing him to generate wealth through a favorable balance of "trade." Blitzkrag recognized both the value and the danger of a nob like Ghaz early on in his partnership with Gulgor. He promoted Ghaz and his dakkaladz to Da Party Krew as a way of keeping the Bad Moon under control. The proximity to his own martial prowess would help to ensure that Ghaz didn't forget who was boss of Da Circus - and ensure that he was in easy krumpin' distance if he did.

DA SLAYAZ
"Is you kiddin' me? It's dangerous out there!" - Magrad
"Run away! Run away!" - Weedy
"Sometimes ... I watch you while you sleep." - Snik

A grot's life is nasty, brutal, and short, but this is no more than most gretchin expect. They are orkoids, after all, and share their masters' instinctive acceptance of the principle that with size and strength comes power, authority, rights, and respect. Their lot in life is no more than they can expect given their small size and unmuscular frames.

Not all gretchin quietly accept the hand dealt to them by Mother Nature, however. Those with the drive to become bigger and badder than their genes will allow often volunteer to pilot a mekboy's killa kan. A killa kan pilot is permanently wired into his walker, but in return gains a ten-foot tall armored body and strength to rival the greatest warboss. Of course, valuable killa kanz are not permitted to hang back from battle as ordinary grots sometimes are, and their intimidating metal bodies tend to attract disproportionate amounts of fire.

The actual results of this operation are wildly variable. Nowhere is this better demonstrated than Gulgor Skulmek's latest killa kan mob - grandiosely named Da Slayaz - and its pilots, Magrad, Weedy, and Snik.

Magrad is a cagey survivor. He has not lived to reach the ripe old age of five by taking chances. Magrad's decision to volunteer for killa kan duty was carefully calculated. He reasoned that, as far more gretchin are killed by orks than in combat, a killa kan would actually improve his odds. In a killa kan he would be safe from the dangers of "peacetime" orky life, and if that meant accepting the risk of facing missile and lascannon fire, so be it.

Even by gretchin standards, Weedy is a runty weakling. He is also a quivering mass of self doubt, expecting to be squashed at any moment by a passing ork - probably by accident. In an odd way, these characteristics have made Weedy a mascot of sorts for his gretchin tribe. As a result, the tribe was overjoyed when Weedy won the killa kan pilot lottery. Unfortunately, Weedy's new mechanical might has not done anything to improve his confidence. The only reason he lumbers into combat at all is that he remains terrified of his orky masters.

Snik, by contrast, has a psychotic streak a mile wide. He continually curses the twist of fate that has locked him inside a gretchin's body, when he should be leading great Waaagh!s across the stars. Snik bullied, intimidated, and assassinated his way to the front of the line for killa kan conversion in his tribe - but for Snik, the kan was just the beginning. He dreams of leading a great gretchin revolt, throwing off the oppression of the orks and leading an all-grot Waaagh! that will bring terror to the galaxy as no other Waaagh! has done. Though revolutionary in ambition, he is thoroughly orkoid in mentality. Snik believes that the only way he can become a convincing revolutionary figure is to first prove his ferocity and skill in battle, and a killa kan was the only way for him to make up for his body's natural deficiencies. Likely his bold plan will get him killed.

Just_Me
03-09-2010, 01:12 AM
Delightful! Your fluff writing volume has far surpassed even mine! Very Orky, very fitting, and a very enjoyable read. I also loved the little references strewn throughout, everything from T. H. White to Trigun.

I for one would love to read more of what you've written.