A crash course in Feminism (or, why everyone should be a feminist)

Feminism is one of the most misunderstood philosophies in the modern world, and it is entirely the fault of feminists that this is so. Growing up even I didn't consider myself to be a feminist until my mother sat down and explained exactly what feminism is at its core, with all the misandry and nonsense shorn away. I thought I'd write it here as I see a lot of people who plainly have no clue what feminism is.

In fact the very core tenet of feminism is easy to explain:

A woman should be able to make her own choices and control her destiny inofar as any individual can.

That's it really. To elaborate, though:

Women should have the same political rights and responsibilities as a man.
Women should have the same social and legal rights and freedoms a man enjoys.
Women should be paid the same for doing the same work as a man.
Women should not be subjected to discrimination or abuse simply because they are women.
Women should not be barred from doing something a man can do based solely on their gender*.


Anyone who believes in the freedom to be in charge of their own life insofar as any individual can should consider themselves a feminist.

*So if you are advertising for a new employee and the final choice is between a man and a woman, your decision should be based on their skills, not their gender.

So there you have it. Feminism is not a man-hating ideology based around putting women ahead of men**, but simply the ideal that we should not be discriminated against because of our gender. Of course feminist theory is far more complicated than this, with as many viewpoints as feminists, but you won't find many who disagree with these as the basic tenets.

**There is an extremist feminist element that do believe in such things, and they are the single most damaging thing to women's rights there is. Equality can not be replaced as a goal by revenge.

Please keep any responses polite.

Edit: Adding a few links to help clarify certain concepts that feminists often talk about and people (men) often misconstrue:
[URL="http://brown-betty.livejournal.com/305643.html"]Privilege[/URL] (inc. [URL="http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/11/faq-what-is-male-privilege/"]male privilege[/URL])
[URL="http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/faq-what-is-the-%E2%80%9Cmale-gaze%E2%80%9D/"]Male Gaze[/URL]
[URL="http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2008/02/09/faq-female-privilege/"]Female privilege[/URL]

Pretty much what it should stand for, but people see differently because of what many call "feme****'s". It should be about Equality, and choice, not about just creating a new social strata of who is in charge.

I would like to ask where does holding a door open for a Lady fall into that? (IE is that a nono in your opinion?)

I ask as somewhat recently, I held a door open and got the dirtiest look... she didnt say anything, but you could see the wheels turning inside her head :|

I was raised for the most part by a single mother. She had to out forth and earn a living all on her own to take care of me. There was no man to help her with anything. While she and I don't have the best of relationships I've come to appreciate what she had to go through raising a child by herself. The world has not been fair to women. But it is much more unfair to single mothers.

I guess I could be called a feminist because I believe in those things you said above. But I don't know me reaching this was the evolution of a male mind or just the result of my upbringing. Maybe a little bit of both. But, primarily, I think it comes from a sense of fairness.

I know full well women are as capable as men in virtually everything. And so they deserve the same fair chance all men get. The only areas in which I may be considered a typical male is I'm still leery of allowing women to serve in combat. Not that I think a woman can't handle it. But rather out of that male need to protect women. The other area is I'm pro-life. But I'm not so sure that makes me not a feminist.

And in the end, as long as they do my laundry all's well!:cool: I kid..I kid.

Holding a door open is good manners, nothing sexist about good manners. It is a sign of respect, not an act of passive-agressive domination. It really infuriates me that this has become an issue. It goes back what I was hinted at in the OP, when it comes down to it the worst enemy of feminism is feminists..:rolleyes:

If it ever becomes verbal, just say as much 'I held open the door as it was polite and respectful, nothing more or less'. It is also efficient if you reach the door a step ahead and it open towards you, opening it, stepping through and closing it on whoever was on the other side would be quite rude. Hell I've held doors open for boys under those circumstances. Never had one accuse me of diminishing his masculinity.


Definitely a feminist, Grenadier.:) Women in combat is actually the thing I have the most problem with myself. My view on the matter changes back and forth periodically. I think one day it will be considered normal and fine but I'm not sure I'm ready to accept it yet, let alone society at large. I read some reports years ago in Iraq about some Marine units having their morale destroyed when some of the female marines were killed. The way they were described it sounded like they had become sort of surrogate mothers to the whole unit and when they were killed (their boat thing hit a mine) the rest of the unit felt emasculated in addition to the regular grief and anger. Not the thing youwant to happen to your elite units in the middle of a war.

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Originally Posted by Grenadier

The only areas in which I may be considered a typical male is I'm still leery of allowing women to serve in combat. Not that I think a woman can't handle it. But rather out of that male need to protect women. The other area is I'm pro-life. But I'm not so sure that makes me not a feminist.

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this might sound odd, but to avoid the emasculating part, couldnt there be a fully female combat unit?

That would seem to be the obvious solution, yes. But I should imagine it would garner cries of segregation and discrimination in its own right.

I feel times are dangerous for men. Not out of a "women are taking over the world" type of thing. But rather men are having such a challenge to their traditional role in society forced on them so quickly. In particular the more ardent feminists who sometimes are quite hostile towards men. And the sexual harassment angle.

It was good question about opening a door for a woman. As man it was impressed on me that I should treat women a certain way. Some men have no problem hitting a girl if the girl strikes first for example. The same guys will say "well I'd never hit a girl otherwise." But to me visiting violence on a woman never is justifiable even if she's beating the snot out of you. I've never even yelled at a woman during an argument. And I've lived my whole life thinking that we men are supposed to protect women.

But today in America you could give a woman a sincere compliment without any ulterior motives and then be accused of sexual harassment. Some women will get offended if you open a door for them. There's even some who don't want a man's protection. I even knew a couple of women who claimed that if they hit a man they WANT him to fight her back.

I think for some guys, myself included, we find ourselves becoming obsolete. We're not really wanted. While a woman can do anything a man can do, and should have fair treatment and all that, to an extent it does seem to also come with men not really being needed anymore by women. Some women need men. Some don't. To be sure. But decent guys want to feel needed. They want to take care of, protect, and provide for a woman. And so if a woman is doing everything all by herself what does she need a man for?

One sad side effect of the feminist movement is that there are some women who embrace it that have this anti-male attitude. Not all of them do but there's quite a few who come off like that hate us. And perhaps they have good reason to. For, as a man, I can say that a lot of the complaints women have about men are true.

The battle of the sexes won't be ending any time soon. But it looks to me like the ladies are winning it. We men are going to have to deal with it. Many of us may have to find a new place for ourselves in the world.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by eldargal

Holding a door open is good manners, nothing sexist about good manners. It is a sign of respect, not an act of passive-agressive domination. It really infuriates me that this has become an issue. It goes back what I was hinted at in the OP, when it comes down to it the worst enemy of feminism is feminists..:rolleyes:

If it ever becomes verbal, just say as much 'I held open the door as it was polite and respectful, nothing more or less'. It is also efficient if you reach the door a step ahead and it open towards you, opening it, stepping through and closing it on whoever was on the other side would be quite rude. Hell I've held doors open for boys under those circumstances. Never had one accuse me of diminishing his masculinity.


Definitely a feminist, Grenadier.:) Women in combat is actually the thing I have the most problem with myself. My view on the matter changes back and forth periodically. I think one day it will be considered normal and fine but I'm not sure I'm ready to accept it yet, let alone society at large. I read some reports years ago in Iraq about some Marine units having their morale destroyed when some of the female marines were killed. The way they were described it sounded like they had become sort of surrogate mothers to the whole unit and when they were killed (their boat thing hit a mine) the rest of the unit felt emasculated in addition to the regular grief and anger. Not the thing youwant to happen to your elite units in the middle of a war.

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The feelingss you mention are a problem, and I have a lot of sympathy.The way some women carry on you would think they expect the 'battle of the sexes' to turn into a genuine hot war at any tim.:rolleyes: A growing sense of emasculation in western societies has been noted and commented on. I had to wince a few years ago when a study into domestic violence found a growing sense of disempowerment amongst men within their own family was contributing strongly to it. The response from the then Labour government? Try and formulate a policy to disempower men more.

Of course part of the solution is to treat relationships as partnerships rather than a power struggle. Sadly both men and women seem equally bad at that.

Now while I do feel sympathy and feel men should still be allowed to be men (and women women, hence the feminism thing;)) these feelings are part of an adjustment that men will have to make.

Another thing I particularly hate is the masculinisation or neutralisation of femininity. Actor instead of actress, chairperson instead of chairwoman, mens clothing becoming standard street fashion. I wear pretty dresses and celebrate my femininity, it doesn't mean I'm not a feminist.:mad:


Unfortunately there are a lot of feminists who are worthy of the term. Turning women's right to equality into a crusade for vengeance could ultimately cost us what we have achieved so far. It is a testament to the quality of our menfolk that we have achieved so much in the past century with what I would deem only acceptable opposition, (aside from the crackdowns on the Suffragettes) and in many cases a great deal of masculine support.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Emerald Rose Widow

Pretty much what it should stand for, but people see differently because of what many call "feme****'s". It should be about Equality, and choice, not about just creating a new social strata of who is in charge.

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I can't see any issues with your version of feminism, Unfortunately it doesn't work like that, which is quite sad. I particularly find it offensive the women that object to doors being held for them, I would hold a door for anyone coming the other way/following me through it...

The frontline combat infantry is a difficult one, while personally anyone who meets the requirements should be allowed, without lowering them for women, which wouldn't be equality and would affect effectiveness, there are psychological factors to men's need to protect women which can't be overcome just by declaring equality...

But I suppose as long as she brings me my bacon sandvich I'm happy...