Fluff for my created chapter

[Firebird]

<this is a short story on my new chapter i created, opinions and thoughts are welcomed>





A Space Marine Chapter Who’s Views Differ from The overall Imperium’s And there Brother space marines. And threw these differences is born the rogue Chapter The Fire Drakes.

Branded as heretics by the Imperium and the Ordo Hereticus, And renegades by there brother space marines. The beliefs that have lead to this out come, are one of compassion, honor, liberty, And a sense that life means something, as well as the righteousness of ones spirit. Which differs greatly from the Imperium’s view that Humanity is nothing but numbers and canon footer. But there Differs something that almost no other renegade chapter has an unshakable faith in the emperor and his vision of what the Imperium should have been, not one in which the High lords of terra have made it.

These Views have made them many Allies and Several enemies. Once the Fire Drakes were a Space borne Chapter, whilst they still are, The have found a permanent place to call home from which they recruit from and gain supplies. Sub sector Grutous A place on the border of of Tau Space and on the very outer edges of the galaxy and the Imperium’s grasp. The primary Worlds of this sector call the Fire Drakes allies, Master and sovereign.

There primary base whilst under operations is there Fleet based fortress monastery, a modified style of the Ramilies Class Starfort. And whilst there number are much smaller now They are still very effective. The primary System in Sub sector Grutous is the Jelcarn System, which lies Grutous Alpha a thought to be lost Adeptus Mechanicus type L forge world and research facility. Many blood oaths and loyalty pacts have made them a perment Ally of the Fire Drakes. The Mechanicus here Researched Space Marines technology including Gene-seed and long studied long lost plasma technology. With this knowledge they have been able to supply most of the weapons and New ships as well as a slow supply Gene-seed, so they might one day rebuild there numbers faster.

[dagonis]

Here are some thoughts that I had while reading this:

1. What is the significance of making this chapter renegade as compared to a loyalist chapter?

2. Afaik, in established fluff there are space marine chapters that do place a value on human life, such as the Salamanders. This has lead to conflicts with other chapters like the Iron Hands, but these conflicts have not caused the Salamanders to be branded heretical. Interchapter conflicts are not rare (Space Wolves v. Dark Angels), and neither chapter is seen as heretical.

3. There would likely have to be a very strong reason that they were cast out from the Imperium. Also, the fact that haven't been hunted and destroyed should likely be addressed. The fact they have a base of operations now would make them much easier to track down.

4. Why would the Ad Mech even consider working with heretics? If Grutous Alpha was an Ad Mech world, that would indicate that it had been lost in the last 10,000 years. The Ad Mech there would be aware of the threat of renegade chapters and respond in kind. If Grutous Alpha had gone rogue, then it would be the Fire Drakes duty to purge the heretics in the name of the emperor. An extension of this is that if the Fire Drakes do follow the emperors original vision (more on this in the next point), then they can not work with the Ad Mech assuming they have gone rogue. The emperor wanted nothing to do with mutants, xenos, and heretics (in the sense that all man should be part of the same imperium and not have their own small kingdoms). If the Ad Mech world was still loyal, they should rejoice at the reestablishment of communication with the imperium. Knowing the Ad Mech they would likely want to contact Mars as soon as possible. This would bring the imperium to the region and the Fire Drakes would likely be destroyed.

5. The largest issue with your fluff is an idea that I keep seeing pop up again and again. The concept that a space marine chapter could know "the emperor and his vision of what the Imperium should have been". How, after 10,000 years could any chapter of space marines (much less a later founding chapter) know the emperor's vision? The high lords have done a fantastic job of shaping the Imperium into what it is. They would have likely buried any evidence that would indicate the emperor is not a god, or that he envisioned a secular Imperium.As far as this, or any other chapter know, the Emperor is a god and wants to be worshiped as such. I am not aware of any fluff that would support the idea of a secular cult within the Imperium. Also, the secular ideas of the Emperor's time are proven false by the existence of Chaos. The Emperor's vision was for man to go to the stars and conquer the galaxy. The current vision of the Imperium is to go to the stars and conquer the galaxy. In his time, the Emperor did not appear to care for the life of the individual, he sent thousands of fleets to the stars to conquer the heavens. Unless I am mistaken, I don't think he ever rebuked an imperial army commander for persecuting wars of attrition. This is a similar style of fighting that is seen with the current imperial guard.

I hope I didn't come off too harsh, I didn't intend to be. I just wanted to put in my two cents about what you posted.

[Firebird]

I have thought about what you said and in the second part of my fluff i will go into more detail of why.
here are the answers directly towards your questions.

1)What makes them different is they have had direct confrontations with this inquisition and the imperial authority, and it didnt end well. <ie direct fighting>

2) yes i agree but not the the extent that they are willing to go into direct conflict with others to stand up for this ideal. the space wolfs in the first Armageddon war almost did but backed down.

3) They have been hunted, yet with there mobile star fortress they have been able to elude the Imperium as a whole. They came across the sector of Grutous while evading a fleet. And a warp storm destroyed the imperial fleet and the imperial's thought the Fire drakes were destroyed as well.
The Ad. mech. Are rouge because they have in effect been abandoned. There are several cases in different official fluffs were during the great crusade were .

I know the fluff isn't finished but i simply wanted to throw the beginin out there, i'm glad that you gave advice it helps the writer fill in the blanks. I wanted a chapter that was renegade and in which was not of chaos and had the sense of morality that isnt seen in the 40k universe and to the extent that would cause conflict with the imperium and the "establishment" Yet remain loyal to the emperor.

[wittdooley]

I dunno. I think the Salamanders have been fairly well established as a protector of the people. They do nearly come to blows with the Black Templars during the 3rd War for Armageddon, as you can read about in Helsreach.

Further, if they really did believe in the "Emperor's one true purpose," there is no way they'd be working with the Tau, as you suggest they do. No way. The Emperor was all about cleansing and burning in the name of humanity.

I agree with Dagonis about the Ad Mech, too. So.... this Ad Mech faction has rediscovered the secrets of the gene seed AND plasma tech? And the entirety of the Imperium isn't standing at their door? Really? I'm sure the Blood Angels and Raven Guard would gladly accept some gene-seed assistance.

I love that you're trying to create your own fluff; it's one of my favorite parts of the hobby. However, if you're going to, you can't just skirt the whole of the 40k canon to do so and want it to be legitimate and/or believable.

Also, I'd work on your usage of 'whilst.' In the great words of Inigo Montoya, "You keep using this word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

[Firebird]

I dunno. I think the Salamanders have been fairly well established as a protector of the people. They do nearly come to blows with the Black Templars during the 3rd War for Armageddon, as you can read about in Helsreach.

Further, if they really did believe in the "Emperor's one true purpose," there is no way they'd be working with the Tau, as you suggest they do. No way. The Emperor was all about cleansing and burning in the name of humanity.

I agree with Dagonis about the Ad Mech, too. So.... this Ad Mech faction has rediscovered the secrets of the gene seed AND plasma tech? And the entirety of the Imperium isn't standing at their door? Really? I'm sure the Blood Angels and Raven Guard would gladly accept some gene-seed assistance.

I love that you're trying to create your own fluff; it's one of my favorite parts of the hobby. However, if you're going to, you can't just skirt the whole of the 40k canon to do so and want it to be legitimate and/or believable.

Also, I'd work on your usage of 'whilst.' In the great words of Inigo Montoya, "You keep using this word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

I understand about the salamders, but they didn't come to blows in such a way as my chapter did, think of a whole space marine chapter fighting an imperial army in order to save people. The whole premise of the chapter compassion, honor , liberty....All the moral standings in which the imperium as a whole does not show nor seem to have.To stand against the standards of society for what you believe is right and moral.

As for the Ad. Mechinus During the heresy there were many factions within it and the Ad. Ma is very easily split during those times and in some of the 40k fluff they have deviated from the standard quota. The mechanicus i have represented here are ones that have studied space marines and there technology and it has been proven within the fluff that each station or FW has a specialty. This is not a great reach this is not the only website i have posted on yet this is the only one to give me negative feed back. i want constructive feed back not someone whose lip and throws off what definitions there are wittdooley

I do thank dagonis for some decent feed back

[Andrew283]

The Fire Drakes is the name of the Salamanders 1st Company. Perhaps your chapter would be better suited as a branch off from the Sallies?

[wittdooley]

Dude, what I'm saying is that if there was a faction of Ad Mech that was able to reproduce plasma and then the gene-seed creation, everyone would know about it and would want it. It's really that simple.

So whole Space Marine chapters fighting each other post-heresy? Happened in the Badab War. The chapters that went rogue were hunted down; they weren't left on their own.

Based on what you've written, you just don't seem to have that much of a grasp on the other 40k canon as a whole. Have you read a lot of it? There are things that, quite simply, don't make sense.

I was trying to offer constructive criticism. If I wanted to be mean, I would have pointed out the fact that your 'short story' was hard to read due to all the spelling mistakes and improper use of words.

[Firebird]

Dude, what I'm saying is that if there was a faction of Ad Mech that was able to reproduce plasma and then the gene-seed creation, everyone would know about it and would want it. It's really that simple.

So whole Space Marine chapters fighting each other post-heresy? Happened in the Badab War. The chapters that went rogue were hunted down; they weren't left on their own.

Based on what you've written, you just don't seem to have that much of a grasp on the other 40k canon as a whole. Have you read a lot of it? There are things that, quite simply, don't make sense.

I was trying to offer constructive criticism. If I wanted to be mean, I would have pointed out the fact that your 'short story' was hard to read due to all the spelling mistakes and improper use of words.

Responded to this via message, As for the fire drakes, yeah ill need a new name....hm....Also yes was defiantly thinking on having them be a successor chapter to the salamanders .

[AirHorse]

In all fairness to firebird, 40k is a massive universe and there are parts of the imperium that are left isolated for thousands of years due to warp storms, other matters of greater importance or sometimes just a simple clerical error.

While it might be stretching things a bit having all these wonderful things coincidentally occur in one place there is no reason to jump straight to it cant happen or the entire cannon for 40k is broken. Infact stcs are often rediscovered on far away isolated worlds that have just kept to themselves due to a lack of contact with the greater imperium.

Im not gonna deny that there are a few holes in what youve writen here firebird(but it is also quite brief considering how much you have tried to convey), but as a whole I think your idea is ok. A rogue chapter that has come to blows with the imperium as its vision of what the imperium should be is radically different but has no influence from chaos is an interesting concept.

I would definately say that the events of your chapters break away should have happened in very recent history as, like others have said, a rogue space marine chapter is a massive threat and would be hunted into extinction. Even if it was suspected that they disappeared in a warp storm the inquisition would still be looking for them as warp storms dont just destroy things, they can trap fleets for eons or send them back in time or accross the galaxy etc.

As for the lost forgeworld it might be better to have it as simply a lost human world that has managed to cling on to ancient technology. And now with the space marines as new allies they have used their technological know how to research into the marines geneseed. This would explain both their seperation from the imperium(as they have no need to go looking for allies with jazzy tech) and why they have such insight into the workings of your chapter without them being associated to the ad mech.

[Firebird]

Thank you everyone for the feed back in the next day or so, i shall post a secound copy of this short story version 2. To fill in some of the gaps and fix a few things