Hilarious 40K Moments

[Unzuul the Lascivious]

So, this year have you had one of those moments in 40K that raise a chuckle or indeed and eyebrow? Has someone come up with a witty comment/name for one of the characters? Any tales of severe beatings? Had a base of Nurglings tear down a Space Marine Librarian like mine did? (Classic moment, the guy nearly packed up and left!). Tell us all about it!

[Drew da Destroya]

Team game, 2v2... Orks and Tyranid vs. Chaos Marines and Blood Angels, 2k points per side.

My opponent, the Chaos player, had a possessed land raider full of Kharne and pals (bersekers) cruising the battlefield, looking for a target. He's on the other side of a wooded hill, and on our side is a group of Tyranid Warriors, led by a Prime, and a mob of Flash Gitz with my KFF Mek. My Gitz are strung out, trying to take the charge... trying to save the troops-choice warriors (there was an objective nearby). It's the Chaos player's turn, and his Obliterators just showed up from reserves... and use Kharne's signal to drop down in ideal twin-flamer location.

Now, my opponent decides to Tank Shock, in order to bunch up the Gitz and Warriors for maximum burny-dancing. He'd then disembark Kharne and friends in order to slaughter the survivors. However, he misjudges the angle and distance of his tank shock, and winds up dead center between the warriors and the gitz... moving minimum distance causes us to do a full surround on the vehicle, trapping the Berserkers inside (and seriously pissing Kharne off). Flamers do minimal damage... Chaos player is annoyed, but knows he'll slaughter us next turn when he tank shocks out of the mess.

Our turn... I move in a group of nearby Kanz, getting into assault range on the tank. Other units don't move much more than is necessary to make a hole for the Kanz. The Prime detaches, and heads towards the Oblits... shooting from the warriors kill one oblit, and the gitz shoot at some uninvolved targets. The Kanz charge in, but need 6s to hit, and 4s to glance... no damage is done. The Prime wrecks the remaining oblit. The Chaos player grins, no doubt imagining the coming butchery.

In order to get his berserkers out of the Raider, he has to tank shock out... which allows my Kan one desperate Death or Glory attack. The Land Raider explodes, killing 4 bersekers, and seriously pissing off Kharne. However, Kharne trips on the crater, totally fails his difficult terrain, and fails to assault. Chaos player is totally crestfallen.

Our turn, we fire into the crater, killing the remaining berserkers. My Gitz charge in, take some damage, and tear Kharne limb from limb.

[eldargal]

A few months ago I was walking in the garden, thinking about Eldar and in particular, Warp Spiders. Walked into a spider web, forgot 40k isn't real. Thought it was monofilament wire and started squealing and waving my arms about in the full expectation of being sliced up. My brothers thought this was hilarious.

[Bigthunda]

My buddy and I were at our FLGS, and I was playing an Ork player. He had a death skullz army, and they were pretty poorly painted...blue armor with white paint sloppily painted on all their faces. Needless to say my buddy and I found this hilarious and called the guy out on it, to the effect of "Oh what's that all over their faces huh?" and he answered, "Don't worry guys, it's just warpaint." That's what she said.

[Lockark]

Last night I had to make 4 armour saves on my last Dark Eldar Warrioir in a squad.(Two pain tokens on them so far.)

I rolled three 6's meaning I passed 3/4 of the saves on my armour. I just had to roll on FNP save and I would of tied combat.

I rolled a 1.

O____O

[Archon Charybdis]

The other night I was playing Planetstrike with my buddies, and it was DE and Orks vs. IG and Grey Knights. The IG and Grey Knights were attacking, and the GK player was having terrible luck with his reserves rolls on turn 1. Despite reserves on turn 1 being on a 3+, he managed to only get in 2 squads of PAGKs and a Dreadnought--leaving his GM, two squads of termies, and his purgation squad all in reserves still.

So he deep struck the two squads of PAGKs behind a trio of Killa Kans in a squadron. Unfortunately, he scattered just enough to be out of assault range. Despondent at his luck, he says "Well they're back armor 10 right? I'll try to glance them with my stormbolters." He managed to glance twice, and immobilize both, wrecking them due to the squadron rules. Unfortunately, still not a great points trade off, but still an awesome sight after his run of bad luck

[Lerra]

I was playing Deathwing vs. Tau. Four Deathwing terminators charged 6 Fire Warriors. The terminators wiffed, and the fire warriors managed to kill one terminator. I lost combat, and another terminator died to a failed fearless save. Next round the Tau counter-charged with his HQ battlesuit and killed the rest of the terminators.

The next game, the mission was to hold the three objectives in the middle of the table. I had 20 terminators deep strike on the objective and spend the rest of the game huddled in cover, going to ground every round. I also had two DA apothecaries - the old, brokenly awesome ones. The Tau player shot at me for 6 turns, and by the end, I had exactly three terminators left - one on each objective. One of those terminators passed 14 out of 15 cover saves on that last turn, and I used the apothecary to ignore the last failed save. The Tau player almost ragequit. I've never seen a game since where the winning player did nothing the whole game except go to ground.

I told him he should have assaulted me.

[Xas]

I had a game with my DE against CE two weeks ago.

It was an epic struggle involving kharandras duelling urien rakart for most of the game (clonefield and regrowth VS 2+sv and eternal warrior) as well as many other struggles (like a raider and a lance-serpent immobilizing each other at point-blank range in broadside formation and then trying for many turns to kille ach other).


The one hilarious moment was when a Falcon decides to ram one of my kabalite raiders. Due to immense speed (we play with star engines work in the movement phase like aether sails ) we both suffered a s10 hit.

My Flickerfields gloriously deflected the impact with a 6. To make it quick: this was the first of a total of 4 6s that were rolled in a row from me (another 6 to penetrate and then double 6 for holofields to explode).


I could well imagine the face on the raiders captain, calmly hovering his hand above the power fields trigger, looking incoming doom into they eyes. Then with an arrogant smile pushing the trigger milliseconds before the much more massive eldar vehicle would smash into the fully charged power fields and violently exploding with only the frail looking layer of green shimmer between the crew and the super hot air.

[Unzuul the Lascivious]

Nice...

[MaltonNecromancer]

So ten enemy Genestealers enter heavy flamer range of my Dreadnought. Nine die. I giggle. My opponent figures "Frak it!", and charges my Dreadnought with his last remaining genestealer.

No problem.

He goes first, gets one hit.

No problem.

Rolls a 6 for armour penetration; it Rends. He rolls again.

He gets another 6. So it goes through the armour.

No problem.

He rolls for for damage.

...

Another 6.

My Dreadnought explodes. The Genestealer emerges unscathed.

Genestealer eats barbequed SM while my jaw hits the floor. The battle continued, and I won in the end, but none of us talk about my victory; not even me. Good story trumps a win every time.