Chapter Unapproved: Gamer Grub

[Grenadier]

This is all about something most of us love as much as our game: food. More specifically food you eat during the battle. I'm fairly sure many gamers nom upon bags of chips. Or crisps as those nutty Brits call them. And surely pizza is a common gamer's grub. No doubt many gamers probably go for anything that can be popped into the microwave. All washed down with pop and beer.

But perhaps the more adventurous of us actually prepare food for the game. So let's post some gamer grub recipes. I'll begin with my top three.

***dont assume these recipes make me a fat a lazy American. I eat this stuff all the time and still remain a lean mean lovin' machine

The Guardsmen:
Type: sammich
Gut satisfaction: 10
Transport: hand
Speed: depends on how fast you can scamper off to the toilet.

You'll need a pack of hoagie buns, pre-split preferable. A jar of peanut butter of your choice, crunchy or smooth,1 jalapeno pepper, 1 pound of thick cut country style bacon. The saltier the better.

Before you scoff you should know there was a time when you could buy jars of peanut butter that had bacon in it. The two flavors counter-intuitively pair well together.

Fry up the bacon until it is nice and crispy. Don't bother separating it before cooking. It'll come apart on its own as you cook. When it's finished "degrease it" by placing upon some paper towels. As it is cooking slather some butter on each side of the rolls and toast them in the oven for a few minutes. Now mince up your jalapeno pepper and mix it in with 2 cups of peanut butter. When everything is prepared slather a generous helping of the peanut butter and jalapeno mix onto each side of the bun. Then slap a mess of that glorious bacon in between it and enjoy! MAN UP fellas! It's good! Don't be cowards!


Nork's Nibbling Nommage:
Type: sloppy mess
Gut satisfaction: 7
Transport: plate or bowl
Speed: fast

You're going to need a can or jar of whichever type of chili you like best. Beans or no beans. (Though I find with beans it serves to have a debilitating effect on your opponent.) You'll also need a bag of your favorite shredded cheddar cheese. I prefer extra-sharp myself. And you're going to need a bag of Fritos corn chips. Which by the way you can use these to start a campfire. Trust me. Simple enough to make: spread out the Fritos as a bed. Dump the chili on top of these. And dump the cheese on top of that. Heat it up in the oven or microwave.

Abbadon's Bad'un
Type: sammich
Gut satisfaction: 10
Transport: hand
Speed: normal

This sammich is a brute. You'll need an entire pack of Steakums. What's that for those who don't know? It's basically kind of frozen sheets of beef. Perfect for making phillies and other sandwiches. Comes in a pack of seven slices. Now, if you're like me then you know if it doesn't have meat in it then it ain't a meal. And the more meat the merrier I say! So use the WHOLE box per sammich. That's right, all seven sheets of meaty goodness. You're also gonna need hoagie buns, an onion, more shredded cheese, and steak sauce.

Now here's the trick. In your skillet you're liable only to be able to fry up two slices at a time. So as they fry keep the rest in the freezer! This stuff thaws so quickly it'll absolutely fall apart on you. Of course, if you want it to be that way you can shred it up as it cooks. I prefer to keep my slices intact for tidier eating.

***as you fry quite a bit of grease oozes out of them. it's best to drain the grease after each slice so as to avoid letting it all pile up on you. You can further decrease the grease (hey that rhymed!) by placing the cooked slices on some paper towels.

As you fry up the slices season them up with salt and cracked pepper. Also if you intend to shred them up why not go ahead and sautee some onions with them? Then give them a liberal dose of McIlheney's hot sauce. Repeat this for every single slice. Again, go for hoagie buns. You need something sturdy to contain all that meat. Slather your buns (that sounds so dirty) with steak sauce. Assemble and eat. This sammich is going to pack some heat to it let me tell you. And your adventures in Toiletland later on will be quite...interesting.

And lastly my own concoction to give you a boost. My games are known to go well into the wee hours.

Deathbrew
Type: unhealthy beverage.
Gut satisfaction: Immense.
Transport: Cup
Speed: it's better than speed.

You'll need a coffee maker. I prefer a french press since it extracts much more of the awesomeness out of the coffee grinds. You'll also need some good Colombian coffee, a jar of honey, Wild Turkey, and a liquid coffee creamer of your choice. I prefer french vanilla. Just a splash for color you know?

Boil up some water and add it to 5 large heaping scoops of the coffee grind in your french press. Failing this just go with the lousy coffee maker will ya? When the coffee is ready add 3 tablespoons of the honey to this. And a generous amount of Wild Turkey. I find half the cup is good enough for this. And lastly the creamer.

Thus far I seem to be the only human capable of drinking Deathbrew and surviving. Contact me if you do too. If I don't hear from you then I know you failed!

[Arch_Bishop]

Sushi all the way.

It is the perfect gaming snack, as it's bite sized, and isn't greasy.

Nothing worse than trying to take your turn whilst madly cramming food in your gob, smearing oil all over your lovingly painted minis.

We make up a plate of assorted sushi for our more "social" tabletop / board game evenings.

Or you can go for the more traditional pizza, but it does suffer from the aforementioned greasiness.

Liking your threads Grenadier!

[Lockark]

Vegie trays and Chesses/peperoni/cracker trays we make our selves.Great snacks that aren't terrible for you.

[eldargal]

We usually have sandwiches (often with bacon), cupcakes, crisps and sometimes things like pork pies and whatnot. Oh and chocolate, lots of chocolate.

I'm going to try the guardsman soon, I like all those things. Can we get steakums in the UK? Groceries aren't my thing.

[Wolfshade]

Last night I had sirlion steak and wine while gaming.

[SotonShades]

I don't think we have Steakums perse, that sais all major super markets will carry prepackaged frying steaks whish, as far as I can tell, amount to the same thing. Alternatively, just go to your local Butcher and get a nice bit of steak and ask them to finely slice it for you.

I like to go for cheap and cheerful when gaming. Any of the Asda cakey, biscuity tub of bite size snacks are good; usually something like brownies, rice crispy things (chocolatey often, but sometimes your common or garden variety), gingerbread soldiers (as they can't be mere men... in the snacktime of the 41st millennium, there is still only war!), shortbread biscuits... you know the drill.

Mini cocktail sausages are also good. Gots to have some protein when you are screaming Waaargh! at the top of your lungs. I also really love drinking a nice strong ale from one of my Dwarven Tankards. Not Bugman's XXXXXX. Great for easy quaffing, but I prefer a darker, heavier beer.

If all else fails, there is Smush. I'm sure DrLove will happilly explain (or cringe in fear once again)

[Deadlift]

I usually eat 7 to 8 meals a day and it boggles the minds of my friends just how much I pack away during a game Even my LGS manager used to let me eat in store during games as I didn't spill any crumbs. I play mostly at home now as its easier than dragging my kids out to watch me game and they get bored. Plus its closer to my fridge.

Pasta and Tuna Salads
Fruit
Chicken
Whey Protein shakes or bars
Pork
Peanut Butter from the jar
Yogurt
Chilli Con Carni

I dont do bread as its usually full of crap and carbs but I have been known to buy 4 or 5 burgers and chuck away the buns. my mates now know that they have a tactical advantage if I dont have any food on hand whilst playing games. I get a bit distracted


As for Grenadiers "deathbrew" being described as better than speed, If thats the sort of kick your after try some of this badboy
Just dont worry to much about the twitches and unexplained euphoria

[Wolfshade]

Am I the only one to be very worried by putting a wild turkey into a drink? Surely the bird would need to be cooked first, and if I can't get a wild one is a pre-packed one ok?

[eldargal]

You just need a really big blender.

[Deadlift]

This turkey wild enough ?