I think that this is a local problem and it seems to have dawned from a fundamental different approach to gaming.
On BoLS I invariably see 2000pt game as the standard size, in my gaming group we play somewhere between 1500 pt sized games as standard so the whole double force organisation chart issue does not appear at all.
Similiarly, I have never seen a "net list" being played.
Part of me agrees with Denzark
Similarly, I find Wildeybeast comment quite compelling...I hate TOs changing army laydown. The worst I played in limited IG to 1 HS slot becuase they considered the IG overpowered. Who in hell says a random TO is better at balance then a seasoned game designer?
There is nothing wrong with either TO's or casual gamers picking and choosing which rules they use and which they don't, or even adding or altering rules, so long as everyone agrees on it beforehand