Seeking Help with Campaign Story (Nurgle)

[TheAmbit]

I'm planning a simple campaign to act as a backdrop to a compendium (akin to Imperial Armour) I'm doing for the traitor portion of my chapter. Anyway there is a lot of reading here but any advice or suggestions for additions would be appreciated.

Traitor History:
The Schism of the Fists
The motivations which sowed the seeds of the Schism of the Fists were known only to Chief Apothecary Sextus Roscius, whom has long since transcended his mortal existence. The following details the compiled records pieced together following the Schism.

Some time in early 800M41 Roscius began tampering with the Emerald Fist geneseed; making minor alterations which lay dormant and unknown to any within the chapter. Gradually, as the crusading fleet suffered battle losses, the corrupted geneseed was implanted into new recruits and their training was enacted as it had been for 5 millennia. For nearly 100 years the chapter continued its campaign around the eye of terror persecuting whatever mission chapter command had ordered and slowly the composition of the chapter swelled with battle brothers host to a dormant corruption.

In 898M41, acting on intel suggesting a potentially massive incursion from the eye of terror, fully one half of the Emerald Fists were dispatched to meet this building threat. The 5th, 6th, 7th and portions of the 1st, 2nd, 9th and 10th along with Roscius travelled at speed through the warp to reach their target. During the journey the fleet became stalled within a savage warp storm and a plague of immeasurable horror was spread throughout the fleet. Escorts, strike cruisers and the battle barge Intangible Force were enveloped one by one. At this moment the truth of the introduced gene flaw became apparent; the Emerald Fists knew fear. As the plague ravaged the crew and space marine alike, the marines with the corrupt geneseed felt anathema to the thought of rotting a slow and painful death. Apothecary Roscius spread word that his battle brothers could protect themselves from the plague by cutting a three ringed mark on their chest. The veteran marines knew this for what it was and steeled themselves against this threat for no true son of Dorn would cower before hand of death. The marines carrying the corrupted gene seed however saw the result of the plague before them and their iron resolve crumbled. In scores they followed Roscius’ instructions as did most of the Imperial crews. The veteran marines moved to take Roscius but the plague had ravaged their strength and those marines now loyal to Roscius rushed to his aid. The plague slowly and mercilessly destroyed the bodies and minds of the veterans as the traitors held them at bay.

Witnessing these events from the bridge of the Dawn Imperitus and piecing together reports from the veterans aboard other ships in the fleet, veteran sergeant Titus Latinius of 1st company, 4th assault squad gave the order to disengage. Guided by the Emperor’s light the chief navigator aboard the strike cruiser managed to escape the warp storm and bring word of the treachery to chapter command.

Over the next 5 years as the chapter’s chaplains and apothecaries unearthed the depth of the corruption and nearly half of the remaining loyal marines were purged for the good of the chapter. Chapter master Gneaus Claudius swore vengeance and set the chapter about its last crusade, to bring the traitor fists to heel. This event would be forever recorded as the Schism of the Fists within chapter records however no word of this would be spoken to the Imperium.

The crusade fleet, now cleansed of the pure geneseed bearing marines was under Roscius’ control. He now controlled nearly one half of the chapter’s strength; materiel and men.


As reward for his patient deceit and the corruption of a chapter he was elevated to daemonhood. Roscius, Daemon Prince of Nurgle now directs the tainted marines through the warp, targeting systems seemingly at random to further the goals of his master. Though he cannot lead his fleet through realspace his captains are more than capable of enacting his will and summoning him should the barrier between the realms be weakened.

The motivations which sowed the seeds of the Schism of the Fists were known only to Chief Apothecary Sextus Roscius, whom has long since transcended his mortal existence. The following details the compiled records pieced together following the Schism.

Chapter 1 – The Fall of Bruj
With the whispers of the Dark Apostle Kor Ikthon ever in his ear, Roscius, the Betrayer, Prince of Nurgle, bid his followers to the system of Bruj to reinforce the region in an effort to pave the way for Abadon's 13th Black Crusade. Lord Kurnex was given command of a large contingent of traitor Emerald Fists and a small fleet. As progeny of the Imperial Fist's Primarch, Rogal Dorn, the Emerald Fists were masters of defence despite their misplaced loyalty to the powers of the warp. They were tasked with overseeing the construction of vast fortifications around Bruj Secundus to control the major warp routes passing through the system. Near 952.1M41 the small fleet descended on Bruj Secundus and quickly overwhelmed the planetary governor’s palace in secret. Through the use of cult followers brought with the fleet, the planetary defence force and the civilian population were quickly brought to heel. The population continued to function as normal unknowing of the corruption holding the seat of power on the world.
Within weeks the population was tasked with reinforcing the bulwarks and planetary defence structures surrounding the Departmento Ministorum stores under the watchful eye of Lord Kurnex. The work detail quickly increased in duration and frequency and the hard labour led to many injuries and decrepitude among the workforce. Cults of Nurgle began to spring up as the overworked populace turned to the aid of the apostles walking among them.
Rumours soon escaped the palace walls of the coup when the propaganda surrounding the former governor’s absence lost weight among the concerned mercantile guilds. Staff still loyal to the Imperium managed to send word of Space Marines far removed from the light of the Emperor who were controlling the population to their own end. Along with pict images of the marine's insignia the plea for help made its way to Inquisitor Septanius Tritonirus of the Ordo Malleus though his various acolytes in the Sector.
Lord XXX – expand to discuss Lord Kurnex (as an inset biography)

Captain Aajz Solari of the Raven Guard 2nd Company had always maintained a strong working relationship with Inquisitor Tritonirus. Upon hearing mixed rumours that the Emerald Fists had fallen to chaos in 953M41, a 2 company strong strike force of Raven Guard led by Solari travelled to Bruj to investigate sightings of an Emerald Fist stronghold. The system was located at a major junction of two warp routes important to the Imperium’s rapid response to incursions from the Eye of Terror yet far from any trade routes. Bruj was not a heavily populated system and had been ravaged by numerous minor battles during the 3rd, 5th and 10th Black Crusades. The remaining Imperial presence within the system following these conflicts consisted of a planetary defence orbital platform and a series of fortified bastions on the surface of Bruj Secundus which stood garrison over Ministorum storage caverns deep within the planet and an automated sensor system stationed on its 3rd moon.

Having fought side by side with Captain Marcus Galba of the Fists during the Dorek campaign, Captain Solari sought to confirm the rumours before condemning the Fists and his brother at arms. His hesitation to believe that the honoured Galba or his brethren had turned traitor was not apparent in his silent approach to the 3rd moon of Bruj Secundus. The Raven Guard strike force translated into real space at the far edge of the system. Moving silently and obscuring their approach to Bruj Secundus behind the remaining 4 planetoids in the system, the strike force set low anchor high above the automated sensor station on the void-ward side of Bruj Secundus’ 3rd moon. When asked, Chief Librarian Isadaas Romitius could sense nothing on the moon’s surface as the surrounding warp storms pressed heavily on his mind. Solari ordered Veteran Sergeant Helas Novusi along with 5 squads of battle brothers to descend to the surface of the 3rd moon to investigate. Lead by Novusi, the recon team quietly surrounded the sensor installation. Meanwhile Solari dispatched a small vessel to attempt contact with the Fists on Bruj Secundus without betraying the presence of the strike force waiting behind the 3rd moon.

Chapter Two - will be completed following the first narrative mission and focus on the ambush of the raven guard on the 3rd moon.

I'm not asking for major rewrites but if anything sounds too lacking let me know so I can expand it. If you'd like to hear more about a particular portion, let me know. I'd like chapter 1 to be about double what it is now but lack for good content as I'm tired.

[Nabterayl]

Thought this deserved a response, though I have to admit I don't have a lot of critique to offer. The company composition of the strike force seems a little off, but I like the route you're taking.

In terms of offering suggestions ... is there supposed to be a mission in chapter one? I don't really see anything to play on the tabletop there. Or were you looking for just such a suggestion?

[TheAmbit]

I wasn't sure how detailed the strike force should be. I might rename it all to be 'recon force'? Mission one is an ambush at the sensor station on the 3rd moon.

Any suggestions on the details for the strike force? Or is it just weird that it is led by a command squad sergeant?

[Nabterayl]

"Strike force," as I understand it, has a fairly specific meaning in a space marine context; it's the name given to all the chapter forces assigned to a given theatre. Thus, the strike force would include both companies Solari brought with him, as well as the vessels that brought him, the supernumerary space marines such as the chief librarian, techmarines, chaplains, and apothecaries, and the serfs crewing the fleet. I think reconnaissance force, reconnaissance detachment, or the Novusi Detachment are clearer names. I don't think it's at all weird to have the reconnaissance mission led by a sergeant. Space marine sergeants are less like NCOs and more like centurions, I think. I do think it's weird for the reconnaissance force not to include any scouts (for that matter, weird for Strike Force Solari not to include any scouts), as I understand one of the trademark doctrinal hallmarks of the Raven Guard is to lean very heavily on 10th Co.

[TheAmbit]

Ok if that's your understanding I definately need to rework the writing. The 'strike force' sent to the system includes let's say about half a company plus the supernumerary that you've mentioned. I'm basically trying to loosely indicate about 2000 points of marines here as the initial force (should allow 35 ish marines, 10 scouts and some HQ units plus armoury). The force is made of marines from multiple companies and includes scouts and likely a terminator squad of 1st company. Knowing my opponent, I will face 10-15 of each scouts and jet pack marines in each game so there will always be a showing in line with their doctrine. Thinking about it they are not considered 'battle brothers' yet correct? So that is where the confusion lies with regard to the scouts?

Following Rhaco's assasination and the ambush on the 3rd moon, the chief librarian will send for reinforcements and a much larger detachment (likely led by Captain Solari himself) will translate in system.

If I expand the '50 battle brothers' statement to give a brief breakdown would that work better? I can always put in a visual insert showing fleet composition at the start of the campaign.

[Nabterayl]

Scouts aren't "battle brothers," no. My confusion, though, was from the phrase "two company strike force." A I wasn't sure if you meant literally two companies, ~200 marines, or what. I took it to mean two companies, but it sounds like you meant ~200 marines. That could, by the way, well be a typical "one company" strike force. When a codex chapter sends an entire battle company, they generally add to the strike force at least several squads from either 6th or 7th Co. to drive the vehicles, fly the dropships, and provide officers for the starships. That can get you up to around 150 right there. Add in supporting elements such as a terminator squad, scouts, and maybe a few squads from a reserve company aside from the custodians you already have, and you can push 200 marines+scouts even though all you've deployed is "one company" plus "supporting elements."

[TheAmbit]

Scouts aren't "battle brothers," no. My confusion, though, was from the phrase "two company strike force." A I wasn't sure if you meant literally two companies, ~200 marines, or what. I took it to mean two companies, but it sounds like you meant ~200 marines. That could, by the way, well be a typical "one company" strike force. When a codex chapter sends an entire battle company, they generally add to the strike force at least several squads from either 6th or 7th Co. to drive the vehicles, fly the dropships, and provide officers for the starships. That can get you up to around 150 right there. Add in supporting elements such as a terminator squad, scouts, and maybe a few squads from a reserve company aside from the custodians you already have, and you can push 200 marines+scouts even though all you've deployed is "one company" plus "supporting elements."

This has been editted in our online version and was just changed to strike force with no quantities of what was involved. I'd actually caught that earlier. If you're interested I can send you a PM to the online document where you can see it live and add comments.