Seriously, you all are way, way overthinking how to make a game of paintball fun.

In fact, I've nothing nice to say about the idea that you should literally roll to hit and wound while actually physically paintballing, so I won't say anything at all. My mother would be proud.

Just paintball or airsoft or whatever. It's tons of fun. Trying to simulate dice rolling will just get in the way of the things that make paintballing fun. You wanna roll dice? Play tabletop 40k or Dark Heresy or something.