A Crash Course in Feminism Mk. II (or, why everyone should be a feminist)

[40kGamer]

Given that it's an issue that comes up a lot on here, here's an interview with a [URL="http://www.cracked.com/article_21884_5-awful-realities-being-man-who-was-raped-by-woman.html"]man who was raped by a woman.[/URL] It's a very interesting and worrying insight into the state of things and how society perceives rape, right down to the legal text in America considering female-on-male rape to not even exist.

Having set through a male-female accusation and counter accusation recently this article provides some good context. Most of the people involved still don't believe this type of crime is even possible.

[Kirsten]

[url]http://imgur.com/gallery/O0OSf[/url]

[Kirsten]

[url]http://www.womenyoushouldknow.net/meet-real-life-superhero-lauren-galley-shes-19-defender-girls-everywhere/[/url]

[Gotthammer]

"Feminists are taking over Ghostbusters!", men say. "They’re ruining our childhood!"

Meanwhile little girls everywhere can no longer safely Google My Little Pony.

Young women are having difficulty accessing tubal ligation, despite it being a relatively safe (death rate is 1-2 per 100,000) and elective surgery.

There is a waiting period of 30 days for women seeking tubal ligation, yet no waiting period for men seeking vasectomies.

([URL="http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/07/getting_your_tubes_tied_why_do_young_women_have_a_ hard_time_getting_sterilized_.html"]Source[/URL])

Young women are often discriminated against when seeking sterilization. Many doctors ask offensive questions (“What if you met a billionaire who wanted to have kids with you?”), state categorically that their patients are too young to consider the surgery, and generally act as though, as one woman who tried unsuccessfully to be sterilized at the age of 21 in the U.K. put it, ”just because I was a woman, I’d reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought.” (Perhaps unsurprisingly, that woman’s 25-year-old husband faced no such presumptions when he asked his doctor for a vasectomy. The procedure was quickly approved.)

([URL="http://jezebel.com/5288695/doctor-thwarts-canadian-womans-choice-to-be-sterilized"]Source[/URL])

Say that at 18 I slap down enough money so I could have my whole body covered head-to-toe in tattoos, piercings all over myself, a mountain of cigarettes, plastic surgery, and plan to have like 20 babies… but if I try at all to safely make it impossible for me to breed for the sake of my health suddenly its like WOAH THERE SLOW DOWN MISSY YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT YET

I have stage III Endometriosis, which means I have to get my uterus removed because I literally have terrible cramps ALL THE TIME and not just when I’m on my period. Now, I’ve always said I don’t want any children for personal reasons and I don’t need my uterus, really. I am not worried about that surgery and I don’t feel any kind of nostalgia over an organ I won’t ever use.

The thing is, my doctor is a ‘man’. This ‘man’ told me I had to get pregnant right now before it’s too late. I told him I didn’t want to get pregnant and explained the multiple reasons but what, do you ask, did my doctor have to say about this? 'Well, better have a kid now because just imagine how depressing it must be being a thirty-something woman without children and a husband?'

I was diagnosed a year ago. I should have gone through surgery six months ago and I still can’t find a doctor that will perform the surgery without trying to force me to have children first. Basically, if you’re a woman you don’t have a say in what can and cannot be done to your body without a ****load of people getting in the way AND I’M ****ING SICK OF IT.

Women are getting [URL="http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/female-inmates-wrongfully-sterlized-in-california-prisons/"]non-consensually sterilized in prison[/URL] but no doctors in my area while tie my tubes at 24 because I might regret it? **** you, doctors. I have more purpose in life than dropping babies. Some of those women in prison are probably great moms and I have no interest in parenting. Let us have a say!

A dear friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied. She was about to give birth to twins and the doctors wouldn’t consent because she wasn’t 21 yet. She had already had children and they still refused to let her have the procedure.

My friend got a vasectomy a week after asking his doctor for one, no problem. He was 25.

Me? I’ve asked 4 different doctors for some kind of permanent sterilisation—tubal ligation or Essure or whatever—and I get a pat on the head and a “You’d regret it if you did.”

Oh, DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A DIRECT LINE TO MY BRAIN.

On the flip side, as a vagina-having person who had her tubes tied at the age of 26 (after having 4 children, however):

MY HUSBAND HAD TO SIGN A CONSENT FORM IN ORDER FOR ME TO HAVE THE PROCEDURE DONE.

How many times have we heard stories about husbands having vasectomies behind their wives backs and never telling them, letting those wives wallow in guilt and misery, thinking it’s their fault that they can’t get pregnant?

And yet I had had to get my husband’s permission to have my tubes tied.

(Obviously this was a decision we’d talked about extensively beforehand, so it’s not like he was about to say no, but we both couldn’t believe the ****ing audacity of the hospital, asking HIS permission for ME to do something with MY body. In fact, he said as much to the nurse that brought in the forms.)

This is ****ed up. Your body is no one’s business but your own. Even if there’s no law against young sterilization, women still suffer just from societal expectations, which influence doctors who are unable to be objective. People think they’re being caring but are actually just afraid of anything that goes outside of their preconceived notions of what people should do with their lives.

Related to the bolded part:

[Kirsten]

that is all kinds of ****ed up.

it never ceases to amaze me how unprofessional doctors so many doctors can be. of course they are only human, but in a profession like that you really do expect a certain level of professionalism. how can they even get away with stuff like that?

[Mr Mystery]

Frightening stuff.

But good point about My Little Pony (Spolde excepted of course. He's a fan. Not a weirdo)

[eldargal]

that is all kinds of ****ed up.

it never ceases to amaze me how unprofessional doctors so many doctors can be. of course they are only human, but in a profession like that you really do expect a certain level of professionalism. how can they even get away with stuff like that?

There was actually a study done which found attractive women were much more likely to be referred for tests and whatnot involving an invasion of ones privates, by male doctors. Presumably because the idea of them stripping down excited them. Women that were considered less attractive were referred for such procedures much less and often had trouble getting their doctor to refer them when they wanted it. Horrifying stuff. Also why I recommend any woman to go to a female doctor. I don't have the source for this at the moment, someone linked it on tumblr but it was a proper study not just an opinion piece.

I actually quizzed my doctor on feminism and her stance on things before choosing her, just be on the safe side.

[Mr Mystery]

[url=http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/dress-revealing-girl-aged-15-5076778#rlabs=9]Never mind her shoulders. It doesn't even cover her ankles, the brazen hussy![/url]

Yep, it's another teen sent home for wearing 'revealing' clothing.

[Gotthammer]

how can they even get away with stuff like that?

Well who are you going to complain to really? The other old men who run the medical boards?


Also in case you were wondering why 50 shades is one of the most vile things ever:











[URL="https://alysbcohen.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/10-scary-pieces-from-fifty-shades/"]Some other quotes[/URL]:

1) He’d probably like to beat seven shades of **** out of me. The thought is depressing.

2) “Please don’t hit me,” I whisper, pleading.

3) “You scare me when you’re angry,” I breathe, staring at him.

4) I don’t want him to beat me, is that so unreasonable?

5) “Are you having second thoughts?”
“Possibly.”
He shifts as if uncomfortable.
“Why?”
Holy crap. How did this suddenly become such an intense and meaningful conversation? It’s been sprung on me, like an exam that I’m not prepared for. What do I say? Because I think I love you, and you just see me as a toy. Because I can’t touch you, because I’m too frightened to show you any affection in case you flinch or tell me off or worse – beat me? What can I say?“

6a) “How did you find me?”
“I tracked your cell phone Anastasia.”
Oh, of course he did. How is that possible? Is it legal?

Without a court order or consent of the tracked, this is very illegal. I’m rolling two more into this one:

6b) He pulls up outside my duplex. I belatedly realize he’s not asked me where I live – yet he knows. But then he sent the books, of course he knows where I live. What able, cell-phone-tracking, helicopter owning, stalker wouldn’t.

6c) Of course he doesn’t ask me for my mother’s address. He knows it already, stalker that he is. When he pulls up outside the house, I don’t comment. What’s the point?

7) Next time you’ll be in the cargo hold, bound and gagged in a crate. (Christian to Ana via email)

Holy crap. That’s the problem with Christian’s humor – I can be never be sure if he’s joking or if he’s seriously angry. I suspect on this occasion he’s seriously angry. (Ana’s thoughts)

You can’t write things like that to me – bound and gagged in a crate – (Were you serious or was it a joke?) That scares me… you scare me… (Ana’s reply via e-mail)

8) But his moods… oh – and he wants to hurt me. He says he’ll think about my reservations, but it still scares me.

9) “I wondered what your bedroom would look like,” he says. (Christian did not get permission to enter her home.)

I glance around it, plotting an escape route, no – there’s still only the door or window.

“No,” I protest, trying to kick him off.
He stops.
“If you struggle, I’ll tie your feet too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you.
Keep quiet. Katherine is probably outside listening right now.”
Gag me! Kate! I shut up.

10) You wanted to know why I felt confused after you – which euphemism should we apply – spanked, punished, beat, assaulted me. Well during the whole alarming process I felt demeaned, debased and abused.

This garbage is being advertised in billboards, bus shelters, tv... ads on detergent boxes for crying out loud!

[Mr Mystery]

Not so much S&M - but an outright abusive relationship.