Thanks guys, It's the not knowing what to do. Understandable my wife is able offer more support than me and I kind of feel I'm not doing enough. The person in question has moved in with us for a bit and they are talking though what happened. But only to my wife and of course the police. I have to respect that she dosnt want to talk about what happened to me at all, feeling shame I think despite me saying everything to the contrary. I just am offering hugs and a shoulder to cry on when needed. It's the 1st time I've ever seen the effects up close. It's an unpleasant eye opener.