The creeper interviewer (which will now be known at TCI) was about 5’ 2” – 5’4” tall (we were eye-level with each other), slightly stocky athletic built, short crew cut dark hair, brown eyes and tanned complexion. He had at least three others with him, dressed all in black. One of them carried a full camera with built in sound boom, and one other had a clip board and looked like a production assistant. There was some sort of logo on the cameraman and on the interviewer’s mic (probably some generic “The_____ show” but I couldn’t see clearly).
The following the conversation we had:
TCI: (hurriedly) Would you like to be interviewed for a show?
Me: For what show?
TCI: A TV show.
Me: What TV show?
TCI: A TV show
Me: Ok…
(Note: That should have been the first warning, but I was on my guard)
TCI: So, if I were walking in the rain, could I pay you to walk next to me with your umbrella?
Me: Pay me?
TCI: If I paid you?
Me: Then, buy your own umbrella.
TCI: No, I want to buy an umbrella with an Asian girl.
(Warning bell one)
Me: Then no.
TCI: Are you a geisha?
Me: No.
TCI: Can I be a geisha?
(Warning bell two)
Me. No, you can’t.
TCI: Why not?
Me: Because you lack certain things, like style, tact, grace—
TCI: Ah, but do I smell?
Me: Well, I dunno, I’ve only stood next to you for about 20 seconds, so I can’t tell if you do or not. But however—
TCI: Well in my experience, girls who stand next to me longer than 20 seconds get a cream pie.
(silence)
Me: I would give you a slap in the face.
TCI: (back away) Really? Would you?
(silence)
(I snap my parasol shut)
TCI: Thanks so much for the interview, bye! (leaves)
The rest of his pathetic crew, hurrying off: (muttering in appeasing tones): Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.”