A Crash Course in Feminism Mk. II (or, why everyone should be a feminist)

[Mr Mystery]

Depends.

I'm 33, and quite capable of acting in a professional manner regardless of apparel. But many colleagues are fresh out of Uni, and smart dress does make a tangible difference to their behaviour, likely a secondary school hangover.

And missed the Friendzone discussion...

It's one of those things. You can't force someone to feel for you in a certain way. Just have the discussion without any kind of scorecard. And respect their decision. If you don't like it, then that sucks for you. You may need to change your overall relationship of you can't accept it. And don't bring it up again. Ever. And certainly don't start keeping a scorecard. When thinking of a future present, do consider how it might be interpreted. Refusal of any gift is considered bad manners in British society, so they'll likely feel obliged to accept. Small, not-too-personal is fine, but don't go for the grand gesture.

[Mr Mystery]

And on the same subject, here's some wise words from Skin, and her amazing flip-top head.



Should you and your erstwhile beau ever be at risk of adultsexyfuntime after 'the chat', don't. Knock it on the head. Dodge it. Get out of that situation. Predominantly, it's not fair on you. And as it's likely to be ill-judged by the other person, it's also really effing selfish to just get your jollies when you know in all likelihood it's a mistake on their part.

If you do, and it happens again, it might be time for a second conversation, explaining as the song says, you want them for more than just a quick wriggle in the sheets.

[Mr Mystery]

And more from the delightful Skin on the very same subject.

[Mr Mystery]

Same band, but more of a general feminist bent (I'm having a wee one man Skunk Anansie fest all to maself tonight!)

NSFW lyrics....

[Nabterayl]

And missed the Friendzone discussion...

And respect their decision.

Something that comic didn't touch on but I feel like is not always appreciated is the "I know I could make her happier than anybody else" feeling. I certainly understand the pathos that goes into that feeling; I've felt it myself. But I'd say to my younger self that I've since learned:

1. You may know that, but she doesn't. And the solution to that is not to make her see. If it is true that you can make her happier than anybody else, she will either figure that out on her own, or she's a moron that you shouldn't date anyway. But if she doesn't seem to be coming around to what you "know," much more likely is that you are simply wrong.
2. Whether you're right or wrong, she doesn't have an obligation to seek out her own optimal happiness. Even if you are her one great love, that doesn't impose any obligation on her. She's allowed to pass on her one great love if she wants.

[Mr Mystery]

One last one, then as Brave Sir Robin said, that's, that's enough music for now lads.

[Kirsten]

I'd rather see a tightening of dress code equality in the work place.

Men - Shirt, Tie, Trousers, Smart shoes, suit jacket optional. All year. Whatever the weather.

Women - Often seems whatever you want, as long as it's not too short or cleavagey. That brilliantly meaningless 'smart casual'.

Even though only a minority really take the piss, the general rule should be evenly applied. Suits (jacket optional)for gents, and the same (trouser or skirt) for the ladies.

Hair? For men, can't be dyed an unnatural colour. Women? Yeah whatever you want. Plum? Go for it. Orange? Go for it. Not fair. Not equal. Not on.

Ditto jewellery. Single standard please society. I don't care what it is, as long as it's one for all.

surely if you're none customer facing they shouldn't give a toss if you turn up with green hair, eight piercings in a hoody

pretty much, dress code is pointless in most cases. increasingly becoming indefensible too. I had to do a few courses when I worked for the government and the course leader was telling us of multiple cases where people had been sacked for not complying with the dress code, and had the decision overturned by tribunal because the employers couldn't actually prove that the dress code improved performance.

[Mr Mystery]

As long as it's a single standard, I'd be happy.

But as it stands? No shorts for us gents. Women? As long as it's not letting us see what you had for breakfast, off you go.

[Kirsten]

quite so

[Mr Mystery]

Though at the risk of sounding truly loony lefty....one does wonder if there are entirely misogynistic (terrible at spelling that word) reasons for this. After all, it's a rare man who doesn't enjoy seeing a nice pair of legs on show....

Relaxing them could also help boost the economy, opening up wider men's fashions in the market place. Like Ishka and Zek did in DS9 when the law changed allowing Ferengi women to wear clothes.