Astartes Tactics

[blueshift]

Melissia, for someone who dislikes space marines lore so much, you sure do know a lot about them. :P

Thats like me reading twilight and remembering every angsty moment.

[Gotthammer]

I'm 99% positive* this is how it would go:

The scene: High atop the towering spire of the planet's centeral hive an Imperial Warmaster waits pensively. He can only hope that his astropathic pettitons to the nearby Space Marines have been heard... and acknowledged...

Warmaster Commandodius (WMC): Every moment I pray to the glorious Emperor on Earth that the forces I requested will arrive...
*Suddenly a massive figure appears in silhouette in the war-room's vaulted, multi-butressed, doorway*
Space Marine Captain (SMC): Warmaster Commandodius, I am Captain Dudicus of The Emperor's Face Destroyers, here to assist you!
WMC: Excellent! Praise the Emperor! I...
SMC: PRAISE THE EMPEROR!
WMC: ...
WMC: Quite... well I have three objectives I need you choose from, the others I will...
SMC: PRAISE THE EMPEROR!!!
WMC: Are you quite finished?
SMC: Sorry.
WMC: As I was saying - the others I will assign to units of Stormtroopers. The options are:
A) Secure the landing zone for the troop transports
B) Destroy the enemy defence silos
C) Kidnap the enemy generals for vital intelligence to be extracted by our Inquisitive allies (heh heh heh).
SMC: I don't get that last one.
WMC: It's a play on words.
SMC: Uh huh...
WMC: Inquisitve.
SMC: Still not with you.
WMC: Inquisitvie people who are our allies.
SMC: Uhh...
WMC: The Inquisitors! The Inquisition!
SMC: Oh, those guys!
WMC: Yes those guys! Who else could I have meant!?
SMC: Well Segeant Mighticus is always asking questions about stuff...
WMC: Emperor give me strength...
SMC: That's why they made him Sergeant!
WMC: Great. Fabulous even. So what'll it be? A - Secure the landing zone, B - Destroy the defence lasers, C - Kidnap the generals?
SMC: I choose D! All of the above!!! RAAAAARGH!!! *leaps through wall and onto Thunderhawk flying past*

30 minutes later...

*The Captain returns, his armour blackend by the combat he has seen. His face bloodied, but his flinty eyes stare out unbowed and unbroken beneath stony brows of knotted iron*

SMC: All missions completed Warmaster!
WMC: All? All three?!
SMC: Yes - with X-TREEEME predjudice!
WMC: How did they fare?
SMC: The landing zone was tricky, but then we managed to kidnap it in the end.
WMC: Excellent! That really is wait what?
SMC: We had Techmarine Intelligus bring in some bulldozers and shovels and we loaded about the first two metres of topsoil into our thunderhawks. We had to shoot down a large number of landing craft that seemed very unhappy with us though.
WMC: You filled your Thunderhawks with dirt?
SMC: Came in great use for the second part.
WMC: I don't believe this...
SMC: Neither did the soldiers of the defence lasers! We came in low and fast, then opened the landing ramps to rain the soil around the laser's emplacements. Quickly we deployed via jump pack, shovels and mattocks in hand. With the Emperor's diving guidence we had established a new ring of siegeworks that the Iwould impress Dorn himself if I do say so myself.
WMC: I'm afraid to ask what happened next.
SMC: Do not fear Warmaster, for though it is a tale of unbelievable excitement it ends in glory!
WMC: Oh dear...
SMC: We took our mighty Thunderhawks to the Enemy's command centre, we attacked without mercy - their puny attacks mere rain on our armour. Quickly we found the Generals, cowering in their puny command centre. We announced we had come to Destroy them as had been ordered by Warmaster Commandodius. Foolishly they questioned that we would not take them prisoner. We replied with bolter shells and promethium. They seemed relieved - Chaplain Tourreticlese said it would be their relief at being released from their heretical ways.
Quickly we made our escape to report our glorious truimph!
WMC: Emperor wept...
SMC: PRAISE THE EMPEROR!!!!!!!


* Ok, 100%

[Duke]

@Gotthammer: That was perhaps the most insulting description of Astartes and Spec. Ops. I have ever seen.... and I LAUGHED MY TRASH OFF THE WHOLE TIME.

Its funny, but I laughed because its also true!

Duke

[Gotthammer]

Glad you liked it If only I had access to an animation studio...

[Duke]

I don't know why, but everytime I read the SMC I think of Kronk from "The Emperors New Groove."

[Gotthammer]

That may not be entirely coincidental...

[Whoop!]

because if he see you, you are dead.

I couldn't have said it better myself.