Losing Gracefully... Help

[CenturyChild533]

I just lost my fifteenth game of 40k in a row, playing as Tau, and I'm about at my breaking point with the game. My problem isn't losing so much as the frustration that I'm starting to lose control of and take it out on my playgroup. I don't want to be that guy. Does anyone have this problem, and can you help me to be a better loser? Maybe some tips to help rein in my temper at least until I'm somewhere else away from the table?

Not sure if this is the right thread for it; please move if it's not.

Thanks.

[Denzark]

I'd say this is the correct thread. Sometimes, you cannot fight the dice. But, sounds like if you were not playing with said specific Tau army, you may win a few and thus stop the rot. Have you changed the list around at all? Have you got a different army you can go back to? Is there something particular such as flyers bringing you down, or are you forgetting a key rule?

If you have made all the changes of all the variables you can, and you have even borrowed a friends army and let him use yours and if you are still losing, it is fate and kismet dumping on you for transgressions in a past life.

[euansmith]

I think Denzark has a good idea about swapping armies with your opponent. You could try playing two games one after another against the same person; first with your own army and then with your opponents on. Keep an eye on what your opponent does with both their army and your own. Alternative, do what I do and either learn to enjoy losing or give up

[Popsical]

Take a short break. Ive just come off of two games where my oppos dice rolls have provuded exactly the numbers they need to do what they want every time. As an example: last game my oppo needed two sixes then two sixes then four sixes then three sixes. He got each roll without fail.
It cant be helped. The dice god is sometimes a git. I rationalise it that my life is good at the moment, so 40k is balancing my karma.

[SaveModifier]

Are you playing the same opponents? Maybe ask them how they're finding it so easy to beat you consistently? Then maybe you can learn what is going wrong.

I think learning to lose well is a good skill to learn though, a handshake and a chat after the game is a must, but learning to accept that loss as just part of a game is even more important, what is frustrating you about losing? Is it the way you're losing? Your bad luck? What do you like about the hobby?

[CenturyChild533]

Are you playing the same opponents? Maybe ask them how they're finding it so easy to beat you consistently? Then maybe you can learn what is going wrong.

I think learning to lose well is a good skill to learn though, a handshake and a chat after the game is a must, but learning to accept that loss as just part of a game is even more important, what is frustrating you about losing? Is it the way you're losing? Your bad luck? What do you like about the hobby?

Part of it is bad luck, definitely. Last game I played I somehow was managing to fail 2+ saves and watching my opponent pass everything, squads of guys dying left and right simply because of bad die rolls. But it's not just one game. The bad luck seems to follow me into every game, which leads me to believe it's not luck at all but some mistake I'm making.

I do play against the same armies most of the time simply because my work shift is the absolute worst to play during the week, and my weekends have been full for the last several months.

As far as what I enjoy about the hobby? Building stuff. The most fun I've had with 40K in a long time was a few weeks ago when my friend and I sat down to build two Inquisitors for his army from scratch. Kitbashing between Space Marines, Dark Angels, and whatever else we had lying around, that was great. The game itself, though, is driving me mad. And like I said, I don't want to be the guy no one wants to play against because of my attitude.

[Captofthe8th]

I don't play competitively, aka in tournaments, but I am a competitive person by nature. If I had lost 15 games in a row I'd be feeling the same as you are. So you aren't alone in that regard.

I have found that when I start getting angry about my own mistakes or my bad dice rolls, if I compliment my opponent for his luck or for his insight to capitalize on my mistake, that it takes the edge off the annoyance or anger.

I was playing a guy with my tau and had shrugged off battle cannons and las cannons with my riptide for 4 turns. Then in the last two turns I failed all my 2+ saves against heavy bolters and lasguns. I needed him to contest an objective but they shot him to pieces. I was starting to get peeved so I took a breath and told him, " good job, that's how you bring down a riptide, weight of fire." He was pleased with himself and it helped me relax too. It helped me remember it was just a game.

Hope that helps.

[SON OF ROMULOUS]

best answer beer honestly when your all laughing and having fun does it really matter if your winning or loosing? the other answer as other's have said would be to change your list or to change your army comp. after months of playful jest and good hearted ridicule we got out own tau player to try and use kroot in his list. the week prior he actually made me throw in the towel after 2 losses in a row then i come back with a new list some new units and boom he gives in after his cockatil and unit od drones gets las gunned to death by veterans.

The way i see it some games the gods are with you others they aren't they are fickle creatures at the best of times and down right evil at the worst. There have been games where you get blown out games where you salaughter and games where its a dead heat. just got to do your best to learn from your defeats as much as you do your wins. maybe play back the last few turns in your head and try and see what you could have done differently. perhaps moving yout unit to a different spot would have been better maybe your target priority was off. there are alot of variables to consider maybe your dice were horrible or his really good. some games it just happens like that.

[SotonShades]

I went through a period of about 4 years without winning a game, playing once or twice a week most weeks. I got a few draws in that time but mostly I lost. Some of that was not having the right units (mostly due to limited funds and the non0existence of eBay at the time). Some came down to poor luck. Worst of all was that most of my opponents were baffled as to quite how I had lost so badly. They could usually point out something I had made a mistake on, some unit I had been over confident or overly cautious with, but nothing big. I adopted the mentality that I must be really unlucky (which still hangs over me today!) and that consensus spread throughout my gaming groups. I became an easy opponent, always having a laugh doing it, but never someone people would challenge for a really tough game for tournament preparation and the like.

I did learn to enjoy losing; mocking my models, my dice, my opponents' good rolling... you name it, I could make a joke about it and I had a good time playing, even if those jokes were just to take the edge off.

Thing is, my opponents were right; I wasn't making any big mistakes. Those little things added up and whilst not always the reason I lost a game, what may have cost me in one game may have escaped the notice of my next opponent, or might not have come up at all because of the choices of units. Some of those things started to sink in, and I started finding I was getting more close draws and even the occasional lucky win.

I still make mistakes. I still over commit Tactical squads thinking they might just hold out in combat against that unharmed mob of Orks. I still have to make jokes when my opponent manages to penetrate all my Leman Russes in a single shooting phase, despite not having anything over S 8 to shoot with. What I find key is talking with my opponent after the game. More often than not, they had points in the game where they thought I was going to walk away with it after making a mistake I didn't spot or times where they thought I was rolling overly well as I thought they were. After discussing what went well and what failed spectacularly (as well as joking about those lucky Devastators who all managed to hit with their lascannons on snap shots...) I always steer the conversation on to what they would have done differently, what they would have done if they were me and what I would have done differently. Hindsight is wonderful, as we all know, but if you can remember even a fraction of it for your next game, you'll start to find yourself coming out on top more often.

One last point that has fortunately never been a problem for me, but is something I see people do all too often; don't forget to play the mission. Sure, those Chaos Terminators are a tempting target for your AP2 blast weapons, but the Chaos Cultists holding the objective will be what actually wins the game. If the Elites aren't threatening your ability to win the game, don't focus on them in favour of a Troop option (though still keep in mind how long it will take to mitigate the threat).

Hope some of that helps. If all else fails, I still probably lose more games than I win, so maybe I can help break your duck

[Mr Mystery]

Mr Mystery's guide to not sucking at 40k.

Lesson one.

Suck. It. Up.

Lesson two.

You will always learn more from defeat than victory.

Lesson three.

You are not a special snowflake. You will take a kicking.

Lesson four.

Unless you can fully explain the game, and the forces arrayed no amount of interwebular speculation is going to help.

Lesson five.

I got good at the game through trial, error, and numerous embarrassingly bad defeats.

Lesson six.

There are more lessons than I can possibly post up. Hang on there. Try something new every time.