Quote Originally Posted by clively View Post
Overall opinion: Too long. Short, simple and to the point is much more likely to garner attention. Someone with the power to make the changes you are talking about won't wade through that wall of text. Which means you need to clarify and reduce it in order to give the person who might actually read your message the "elevator pitch" they need to run with.
I agree with the consensus that it is a well thought out, reasoned letter.

I agree and disagree with this quote too in part... I think that there is a difficult middle ground to hit between spelling out the problems that you think need addressing, without going on to offer constructive suggestions, and having too long a letter that they decide not to read it all. I think the answer though may not lie in cutting out content, but instead in the order of presenting it. Perhaps write the letter as more of an 'abstract', covering the basics of what you think are the issues, just the very basics of changes you are suggesting, and with regard to 'profits' comments made by others, briefly how you feel that this will help their bottom line. Beyond that, collate more in depth ideas into an appendix that comes after the letter. Reel them in with the letter, pique their interest and then have a further resource that is there with the remaining information that by the end of the letter they should WANT to read.