Fed up of Nerd Elitism.

[Mr Mystery]

How do?

So this is something I've brought up before, and of which 'FAKE GEEK GIRL' is just a single, albeit significant, part.

My mate posted this up on Facebook, and it inspired this thread.



It's as if we've forgotten the misery of being excluded during our early geek days. Not so much by fellow geeks, but you know, society in general. Thankfully, society is a lot more soft on geeks and nerds nowadays for a host of reasons.

And yet the snooty elitism has shifted from being on the geek, to coming from the geek.

Why? What's the bloody point in it? After all, there's nothing like a good nerdchat, where we can froth away to our heart's content about all those films, books, comics, TV series, anime and games we love so dearly. Shutting people out or being derisive in totally counter productive.

But more importantly, what can we do proactively to help stamp it out? Is there an existing campaign interested parties might be able to join?

[Chronowraith]

I've never experienced this but then.. I've been reading comics and playing video games for roughly 30 years, and roleplaying and tabletop gaming for 25 years.

I really enjoy meeting people interested in one of my "nerd" hobbies who are either interested due to pop culture or just looking for something interesting. Of course, I worked at a comic shop for years too so talking people into the hobby was part of my job.

I don't see this attitude very frequently, but it always pisses me off when I do. I've seen people by 2-3 comics a week and look down on the newcomer and act like they know everything about comics. I usually ignore them and try to represent a friendlier side of the hobby by answering questions, giving suggestions, or talk about the past/future of whatever they are interested in.

[Anggul]

For some of 'our kind' it's their bizarre idea of an ego. It's the same sort of way some 40k players will run a boring list of the same unit just for the sake of rolling a load of dice and having their opponent remove their army from the board rather than actually playing... and then acting as if it's their tactical genius that won the game and they're better than you. I say just ignore them and leave them in their own daft little world.

[Asymmetrical Xeno]

Every nerdy hobby/interest has elitism.

For example, I come from the Industrial scene and oh my god is that full of it - you have groups proclaiming X subgenre to be better than Y ones, you have the typical "its not music" mentalities, the ones that hate X Genre/think it's the best thing since sliced bread, you got the "it doesnt use REAL instruments so it isnt REAL music" guys, you got the strict dress-code/fashion ****s...the list goes on. I think it's sadly turned away a lot of potential fans or people otherwise interested.

All you can really do though is just try and avoid it as much as you can and be positive as much as you can and if people take an interest in your nerd-hobby, welcome them with open arms and introduce them to the people that ARE awesome, cos theres lots of those too!

[eldargal]

I've never experienced this but then.. I've been reading comics and playing video games for roughly 30 years, and roleplaying and tabletop gaming for 25 years.

It's really more obvious if you're a girl/woman. I've been playing video games since I was five, tabletop games since 8 and reading scifi and fantasy since I was little as well and I still get met with suspicion and gatekeeper-y, fake geek girl paranoia. It's funny sometimes though, saw one guy say something like 'She only got into fantasy because of the LOTR films' and get called out by his friend who pointed out that was how he got into fantasy too. But often they don't get called out. However a guy gets into a nerdy fandom he is welcomed as a legitimate addition. Guy watches Avengers, decides he likes superheroes, is welcomed as a new fan. Girl watches Avengers, decides she likes superheroes, buys comics, makes a costume, fake geek out looking for attention.

[euansmith]

I, for one, welcome any new geeks in to the fold. They can be over enthusiastic and wearing, but that is a small price to pay for a larger herd.

[Chronowraith]

It's really more obvious if you're a girl/woman. I've been playing video games since I was five, tabletop games since 8 and reading scifi and fantasy since I was little as well and I still get met with suspicion and gatekeeper-y, fake geek girl paranoia. It's funny sometimes though, saw one guy say something like 'She only got into fantasy because of the LOTR films' and get called out by his friend who pointed out that was how he got into fantasy too. But often they don't get called out. However a guy gets into a nerdy fandom he is welcomed as a legitimate addition. Guy watches Avengers, decides he likes superheroes, is welcomed as a new fan. Girl watches Avengers, decides she likes superheroes, buys comics, makes a costume, fake geek out looking for attention.

You are correct, this does happen with women more than men. But I see it happen with men too. It's just a different attitude.

Women who enter the comic shop are seen in one of two ways... innocent and ignorant to the nerd stuff or they are simply seen as meat. I've seen a pretty even mix to this. Either some guy approaches her and treats her like she is a mentally handicapped 5 year old or they go over and start acting as sly as they can (which is usually pretty comical itself).

Guys are tested. Usually this involves knowledge or perhaps playing a game if it's a tabletop game store but how the guy performs determines where he falls in the pecking order. If he falls too low then it's like a story out of Divergent and they fall off the end into a pool of equally disdained factionless people.

[Gotthammer]

Some of it stems from people saying things to the effect of "I'm an outcast because my hobbies and interests are derided", but when those things become geek-chic or at least not as big a social faux-pas to be interested in they suddenly have to deal with the fact it's not their hobbies, but rather that they're toxic, whining, petulant, children who think that hating on popular things and being negative about everything witty and intelligent when really its just being a boorish *******.
So they react by pushing back against the "posers" because if everyone's interested in comics it wont be such a small group that people will be forced to put up with them any more.

Edit: Just saw this:

You hear all these “you’re not a real fan unless” and it lists a hundred things, but I met a dude today who saw my Deadpool pin and asked what my favorite story arc was, and I explained that while I loved Deadpool, I was new to Marvel (I only really got into it a year and a half ago) and hadn’t been able to find a lot of the comics. Instead of making a face or a derogatory comment, he just offered to send me all the stuff he had. That is a true fan.

[Cap'nSmurfs]

Nerd elitism is the pits.

My wife used to get the usual "oh is this for your boyfriend/brother", and would reply along the lines of "mother****er, I can calculate THAC0 in my head".

[eldargal]

Yup and there is a strong element of misogyny in it too. For example you see statements that run roughly:

I am a geek and I was bullied at school. Therefore to be a geek you have to have been bullied at school. This girl/woman won't have been bullied at school for Reasons, therefore she cannot be a geek.

Ignoring that girls going through puberty can be just as socially awkward, weird looking and unfashionable and at the mercy of the 'cool kids' as much as boys but on top of that the boy geeks wouldn't have anything to do with us. Though at least in my case it was because there were no boys at my school but the point stands... What it boils down to is 'I wanted to date the cheerleader, I ignored the geeky girls and now they are in my face and I can't ****ing handle it because they are still ignoring me because I'm a little ****'.