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  1. #3881
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    once there was a man who drove the train for a living. he loved it; it was something he’d wanted to do since he was a little boy. his favourite part was making the train go as fast as possible.

    one day, however, because he was going so fast, the train got into an accident. now the man made it out safely but unfortunately, one passenger died. so, the man was put on trial, found guilty, and sentenced to execution.

    the day came when the man was meant to be executed and he requests a banana for his last meal. he ate his banana, sat in the chair, and the executioner flipped the switch. sparks flew, but the man emerged alive.

    now, around this time there was a law that stated if a person were to survive an execution, it was a sign of divine intervention and the prisoner was to be let go. so, the man was released.

    he got his job back as a train driver, and having learned nothing from his previous mistakes, continued on driving the train recklessly. of course, the train soon got into another accident.

    now again, the man was put on trial, found guilty and sentenced to death. and, for his last meal, he requested two bananas. so, he ate his bananas, was strapped into the chair, and the executioner flipped the switch. once again, the man was totally fine, and released.

    now, would you believe that he got his old job back again? our reckless train driver seems to have learned nothing, because he continued to drive the train overly fast and recklessly. of course, he got into an accident for a third time.

    once again the man was put on trial, found guilty, and sentenced to death.

    the day came and he requested his last meal - three bananas. at this point the executioner said, “no, i’m sick of you coming in here, eating your banana and walking out unscathed. let’s just do this.”

    so, without eating his bananas, the man was strapped to the electric chair, the executioner flipped the switch and - the man was completely unharmed. the executioner was dumbfounded.

    “oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it,” the man explained, “i’m just a bad conductor.”

  2. #3882
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    How about this? try watching a few episodes from each of these and see if it changes your opinion at all?

    These would be my "anime recomendations for people that don't like anime" :



    The series centers on the members of an elite cybernetic law enforcement unit known as Public Security Section 9 as they investigate cyber-crime and terrorism cases; these cases often are connected to their pursuit of an elite "Super Class A" hacker and corporate terrorist known as "The Laughing Man."

    It's quite a well known one, but it's good. It's a classic cyberpunk style setting with detective esque elements and interesting technological based stories.



    Moribito is set in a fantasy analogue of historical Asia. The setting includes several nations, such as Kanbal, a rugged, Himalayan-like kingdom, and New Yogo, a fertile empire that combines elements of feudal Japan and Southwest China. The supernatural plays very prominently into the world of the series, with the physical world being referred to as Sagu and a parallel spirit world being referred to as Nayug.


    One that people seem to pass over too. Lacks all of the corny tropes that people often hate anime for. It has a great non-sexualised female protagonist, beatiful art style and an engrossing story that ends all too soon. I found it to be a real treat and one of those things you watch and wish there was more of, only to search for similar stuff to find there is nothing.



    Jyouji "George" Kodama arrives in the town of Kimujuku in search of a man named Genzo Araki. Unable to find him, he learns that the town is divided in two distinct factions. Sensing that Kimujuku's residents are hiding something, Jyouji takes work from each faction, playing them against each other in an effort to uncover the secret and the whereabouts of Genzo.

    Based on a classic movie called yojimbo, it's a great tale of revenge that keeps you guessing to the end!




    The story of Planetes follows the crew of the DS-12 "Toy Box" of the Space Debris Section, a unit of Technora Corporation. Debris Section's purpose is to prevent the damage or destruction of satellites, space stations and spacecraft from collision with debris in Earth's and the Moon's orbits. They use a number of methods to dispose of the debris (mainly by burning it via atmospheric reentry or through salvage), accomplished through the use of EVA suits.


    This is one of the most underrated animes ever and has what id consider to be one of the most well thought-out near future earths and realistic SF settings iv ever had the pleasure to immerse myself in. Great, realistic characters, interesting plots and amazing world building. There is a political element but it is more of an undertone. People always seem to pass this one by.



    The story begins in a futuristic domed city called Romdeau, built to protect its citizens after a global ecological disaster thousands of years prior. In this utopia, humans and androids known as AutoReivs coexist peacefully under a total management system. A series of murders committed by robots and AutoReivs infected with the Cogito virus (which causes them to become self-aware) begins to threaten the delicate balance of Romdeau's social order. Behind the scenes, the government has been conducting secret experiments on a mysterious humanoid life form called a "Proxy." The Proxy beings (described as almighty, god-like, immortal, omnipotent) are believed to hold the very key to the survival of humanity.


    Another cyberpunk anime, but with a darker grittier post-apocalyptic edge to it.




    Nana Osaki is a punk singer who wants to debut with her band, Black Stones (BLAST for short), where she is the lead vocalist and her boyfriend, Ren, is the bassist. Nana and Ren have lived together as lovers since she was 16. When Ren is offered a chance to debut in Tokyo as a replacement member of the popular band, Trapnest (Toranesu in Japanese), Nana chooses to continue on with BLAST and to cultivate her own career instead of following Ren, as she has too much ambition to simply be a rockstar's girlfriend. She eventually leaves for Tokyo at the age of twenty to start her musical career.

    Nana Komatsu, the other Nana, has a habit of falling in love at first sight all the time, and depending on other people to help her. When her friends, and then her boyfriend, leave for Tokyo, she decides to join them a year later after having saved enough money at the age of twenty.

    The two Nanas meet on a train by chance, both on their way to Tokyo. After a string of coincidences, they come to live together in an apartment numbered 707 (nana means "seven" in Japanese). Despite having contrasting personalities and ideals, the Nanas respect each other and become close friends.

    It's just a story about two women named Nana. There aren't many tv shows or anything with alternative leads but this one is primarily about a female punk-rock singer. It's mostly a drama and a tale of friendship. No SF or F elements.





    One of my all-time favourites. It's written by an all-female team of writers toKimihiro Watanuki is a high school student plagued by yōkai and ayakashi spirits, both of which are invisible to everyone else but him. The series begins when Watanuki stumbles, seemingly by chance, into a shop that grants wishes. The shop is owned by Yūko Ichihara, a mysterious witch of many names and esoteric renown. For a price, she offers to grant Watanuki's wish to be rid of the spirits. The price, according to Yūko, must be of equal value; so, as payment, he must become Yūko's temporary, part-time cook and housekeeper. While his established job consists of household chores, Yūko increasingly sends him on errands of a supernatural or spiritual nature as the series develops.o. It has a quirky art style that may not be to everyones taste, but to me this sort of thing is the anime equivilent of tim burton movies.

    One of my all time favourites. It has a quirky art style that may not be to everyones taste but I think it suits the show well. It's' very quirky and weird in general, but it has a lot of heart. I love all he weird quirky spirit characters and how Watanuki makes friends with them over time. If you like this one, there are several others with a similar theme/feel but this is the one I like best. Oh and it's written by clamp, an all-female team of writers.


    Psycho-Pass is set in 2112. The Sibyl System is actively measuring the populace's mental states, personalities, and the probability that individuals will commit crimes, using a "cymatic scan" of the brain. The resulting assessment is called a Psycho-Pass. When the probability of a person engaging in crimes measured by the Crime Coefficient index exceeds a certain level in an individual, he or she is pursued, apprehended, and killed if necessary.


    Yet another good quality cyberpunk anime. The first season is largely superior to the second, but I enjoyed it all for the most part.
    Last edited by Asymmetrical Xeno; 09-05-2016 at 12:09 PM.
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  3. #3883
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    this puzzle on The Guardian is stupidly easy

    [URL=http://s1216.photobucket.com/user/KirstenIGMB/media/cryptic_zpseclttqyc.jpg.html][/URL]
    Twelve monkeys, eleven hats. One monkey is sad.

  4. #3884

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    I thought Planetes was great, but it was also quite disappointing in some aspects. All the orbital stuff and space exploration was great, but by and large they had just taken life now and moved it into space. There seemed to be no advances medically for example, despite the fact that cancer treatment is undergoing a (admittedly quite slow) revolution currently. I find it hard to believe that leukaemia will be untreatable in 70 years as it was at points in the anime. Basically, I feel it is a good effort, but it didn't go far enough in it's ideas of how tech would advance in that time period.

    Ghost in the Shell would be a good one for you to try Mystery It is proper cyberpunk stuff. There are a few on that list that I would like to watch having seen them here though! So thanks for the heads up AX
    Last edited by Haighus; 09-05-2016 at 11:46 AM.
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  5. #3885
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    popular anime, summarised:

    love live: it’s love live

    kancolle: sorta like love live, but the girls shoot torpedoes from their thighs

    haikyuu: like love live, but with men’s volleyball

    pokemon: it’s pretty much just love live but with pokemon

    hunter x hunter: it’s kinda like love live except hisoka is there

    free!: love live except with constant awkward shots of dripping wet man-***

    love live sunshine: what do you ****ing think it’s like

    one punch man: it’s actually a little bit different from love live, but you can still see that it was love live inspired.

    neon genesis evangelion: basically a freudian re-interpretation of love live.

    puella magi madoka magica: literally the exact same as love live. their version of kotori’s kinda messed up though.

    idolm@ster: a really unique anime, unlike anything i’ve ever seen before

    attack on titan: shameless, uninspired love live knockoff, right down to the costumes and musical numbers

  6. #3886
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    I'm still laughing at the train driver joke
    Twelve monkeys, eleven hats. One monkey is sad.

  7. #3887
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    There is a story that travels round the Chapter of the Eternal Crusade, deemed apocryphal at every turn and yet persisting nonetheless thanks to the inexhaustible fuel of human gossip.

    The story goes that once there was a newly-inducted neophyte to the ranks of the chapter. A candidate taken from a feral world, he struggled with acclimatising himself to the gifts granted unto him by the sons of Sigismund. Despite a most valiant ongoing determination to prove his worth, such things as hypnotherapy and the demands of a Templar’s daily routine had him struggling to keep up.

    Observing this, his initiator decided that the best thing to do for the young man would be to throw him into the proverbial deep end, there to see him tested in fire and battle. Once that was done, the initiate reasoned, all else would fall into place. Thus, on the eve of battle he called the neophyte to his side and handed the youth his own chainsword, saying to him, “Take this, and with it slay no less than one hundred of our foes tomorrow.”

    The neophyte took up the weapon and swore himself to his superior’s task, and when battle was joined he eagerly waded in amongst the carnage to meet the Emperor’s foes in battle. But, at the end of the day, when he returned to the initiate streaked with blood, his head was low as he admitted that he could claim no higher a tally than eighty-seven of the chapter’s enemy.

    The Templar initiate was disappointed in his pupil, and bade him clean his armor and to pray for the Emperor’s guidance, and that as punishment for his failure he would fast that night while the rest of his brethren took their evening meal. The neophyte agreed to this, and vigorously scrubbed clean his armor and the great weapon, and spent many hours in prayer and took no food nor water as he strove to redeem himself.

    Morn the next day, the initiate called the neophyte to his side once more, and charged him, “Today, you will show me the fullness of your capability, and slay no less than one hundred heretics in the Emperor’s name.”

    The neophyte once more knelt and swore himself to the task, and once more he charged into the thick of battle, bravely meeting one foe after another without hint of fear. But when he crossed paths with his superior as the day came to a close, without speaking the initiate could see in the neophyte’s eye that he had failed, and indeed the youth admitted he had slain no more than ninety three of the Emperor’s foes.

    The Templar initiate was irate, for twice now his ward had failed him. In a fit of pique he took the chainsword back from his neophyte’s hand and bade him to watch closely and see firsthand how a true son of Sigismund despatched the enemies of humanity. With a twitch of his thumb he tapped the activation rune on the weapon, bringing forth a roar as the blades spun in anticipation of battle.

    The neophyte, however, was wide-eyed, and staring at the initiate he blurted “by the Emperor! What is that noise!”

    However the process of robo-insemination is far too complex for the human mind!
    A knee high fence, my one weakness

  8. #3888
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    However the process of robo-insemination is far too complex for the human mind!
    A knee high fence, my one weakness

  9. #3889
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  10. #3890

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    Hehe.
    Ask not the EldarGal a question, for she will give you three answers, all of which are puns and terrifying to know. Back off man, I'm a feminist. Ia! Ia! Gloppal Snode!

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