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Thread: Cool Quotes

  1. #1
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    Default Cool Quotes

    I thought a fun idea for a thread would be one in which to post cool quotes from... well anything really, be it movies, tv, novels, comics whatever takes your fancy. Here's a few of my favourites to get the ball rolling:

    Gotrek Gurnisson - Trollslayer
    "The first one to harm the manling dies instantly... the second I'll take my time over!"

    Edmund Burke
    "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"

    Ghostbusters
    Dr Ray Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
    Dr. Peter Venkman: [Sarcastically] That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray.
    Gozer: [Evil voice] Are you a God?
    Dr Ray Stantz: [Peter nods] No.
    Gozer: Then... DIE!
    [Electrocutes the Ghostbusters; pushing them to the edge of the apartment building; people screaming in the street below]
    Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks if you're a God, you say "Yes"!

    Casino Royale
    Vesper Lynd: It doesn't bother you; killing all those people?
    James Bond: Well I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did.

    Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
    Padmé Amidala: So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.

    Doctor Who - Doomsday
    Cyber Leader: Dalek's be warned, you have declared war upon the Cybermen.
    Dalek Sec: This is not war, this is pest control.
    Cyber Leader: We have five million Cybermen, how many are you?
    Dalek Sec: Four.
    Cyber Leader: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
    Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with ONE Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
    Cyber Leader: What is that?
    Dalek Sec: You are better at dying!

    The Dark Knight
    Lucius Fox: Let me get this straight. You think that your employer, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who is spending his nights running around the city beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.

    Babylon 5
    Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: Ask ten different scientists about the environment, population control, genetics, and you'll get ten different answers, but there's one thing every scientist on the planet agrees on. Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens, it won't just take us. It'll take Marilyn Monroe, and Lao-Tzu, and Einstein, and Morobuto, and Buddy Holly, and Aristophanes, and all of this - all of this - was for nothing. Unless we go to the stars.

    The Order of the Stick Webcomic
    Vaarsuvius: 'I am capable of rearranging the fundamental building blocks of the universe in under six seconds with enough time left over to move 30 feet. I am capable of manipulating matter and energy on a subatomic level by speaking. A mere flick of my finger is sufficient to alter the gravitational pull of the planet. I shelve physics texts under "Fiction" in my personal library! I consider the Laws of Thermodynamics loose guidelines at best! In short, I am grasping the reins of the universe's carriage, and every morning I wake up, look to the heavens, and shout "Giddy up, boy!" You may never grasp the complexities of what I do, but at least have the courtesy to feign something other than slack-jawed oblivion in my presence. I, sir, am a wizard, and I break more natural laws before breakfast than of which you are even aware!'

    Rome
    Titus Pullo: 'THIRTEEN!!'
    Either there is life in the universe more intelligent than us, or we are the most intelligent form of life in the universe. Either way, it's a worrying thought!

  2. #2

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    "Pretty. What do we blow up first?"
    Wraith Squadron motto, first coined by Myn Donos




    “Life is simple," I said. "Ale, women, sword, and reputation. Nothing else matters.”

    “Every day is ordinary, until it isn't.”

    "Wyrd biõ ful ãræd."

    “Five things make a man happy,” I told him, “a good ship, a good sword, a good hound, a good horse, and a woman.”
    “Not a good woman?” Finan asked, amused.
    “They’re all good,” I said, “except when they’re not, and then they’re better than good.”

    “I am no Christian. These days it does no good to confess that, for the bishops and abbots have too much influence and it is easier to pretend to a faith than to fight angry ideas. I was raised a Christian, but at ten years old, when I was taken into Ragnar’s family, I discovered the old Saxon gods who were also the gods of the Danes and of the Norsemen, and their worship has always made more sense to me than bowing down to a god who belongs to a country so far away that I have met no one who has ever been there. Thor and Odin walked our hills, slept in our valleys, loved our women and drank from our streams, and that makes them seem like neighbours. The other thing I like about our gods is that they are not obsessed with us. They have their own squabbles and love affairs and seem to ignore us much of the time, but the Christian god has nothing better to do than to make rules for us. He makes rules, more rules, prohibitions and commandments, and he needs hundreds of black-robed priests and monks to make sure we obey those laws. He strikes me as a very grumpy god, that one, even though his priests are forever claiming that he loves us. I have never been so stupid as to think that Thor or Odin or Hoder loved me, though I hope at times they have thought me worthy of them.”

    Uthred of Bebbanburg




    "Your whole view of the world changes when you’ve killed someone for money. You can solve anything through murder. Someone shoves you in the street, you can follow them all day until they’re alone in a darkened stairwell–and pop! Problem solved. Someone short-changes you or doesn’t pay up, you could wait for them, and pop! Problem solved. When you killed someone for money, you realized that the world was just a ****ing machine. Push here, something happens. Pull here, something happens. Push and pull in a coordinated sequence, and you could make just about anything happen."

    He nodded. “I am quality. I do work needs to be done. They call me the Poet.”
    I raised an eyebrow theatrically. “Bull****. I’ll bet you anything you like not one person has ever called you the Poet unless you had a knife up their ***.” I pointed a finger at him. “I will call you Nancy.”

    "I didn’t want to kill her; she was just doing her job. But she was standing between me and the rest of my miserable life, so she was going to have to take a bullet."

    "I decided to irritate him, on the premise that it couldn’t make my situation any worse."

    Avery Cates




    "If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed."

    Sylvia Plath




    "Admiral, I recommend we get our intelligence officer up here to see if he can craft lovely poems for the singing spider wolves."
    Captain Desjani, The Lost Fleet

    "someday there might have been the patter of the feet of little green-haired future intelligence officers"
    Captain Desjani or Admiral Geary - I can't remember

    There are two things that worry me the most…
    ….The first of those things is the great minds at fleet headquarters and whatever they might decide is a good idea. The second thing is bored Marines and what they might decide is a good idea.
    Admiral Geary




    Cocktail hour at the embassy consisted of lots of charming men and women in suits and LBDs drinking Buck’s Fizz and being friendly to one another, and so what if half of them had gill slits and dorsal fins under the tailoring, and the embassy smelled of seaweed because it was on an officially derelict oil rig in the middle of the North Sea, and the Other Side has the technical capability to exterminate every human being within two hundred kilometers of a coastline if they think we’ve violated the Benthic Treaty?

    Then, when he’s sure I’m as desperate as he is, he climbs on top of me and we mate like frenzied forty-year-old mammals who know it might be their last time ever.

    I wasn’t expecting a stealth, supersonic, vertical take-off submarine fuelled by the eerily whistling ghosts of necromantically murdered dolphins.

    -Dr Mo O'Brien
    The Annihilation Score, Charles Stross




    but I find her personality annoying. It’s like being molested by a sleeping bag that speaks in Comic Sans with little love-hearts over the I’s.

    Look do you really want a detailed description of two sex robots going at it like a pair of bonobos on day release from celibacy camp in front of an audience of jaded aristocrats?
    What was that? You’ll have to speak up. I can’t quite hear you, you’ll have to try not to breathe so hard -
    What are you - some kind of voyeur? **** off!

    - Saturn's Children, Charles Stross




    I only had the one computer, and now it’s all broken and covered in blood and bits of the giant isopod from hell.(****ing netbooks; you can’t even use one to beat an alien brain parasite to death without it breaking.)

    I hand Persephone the Forbidden Room card and keep Room Not Found for myself. She looks at me oddly
    - Bob Howard, The Apocalypse Codex, Charles Stross




    That golden age that nobody noticed was happening at the time; I mean that long decade between the fall of the Wall and the fall of the Towers.
    If you wish to be pedantically exact about it, those retrospectively blessed dozen years lasted from the chilly, fevered central European night of November the 9th, 1989 to that bright morning on the Eastern Seaboard of America of September 11th, 2001. One event symbolised the lifted threat of a worldwide nuclear holocaust, something which had been hanging over humanity for nearly forty years, and so ended an age of idiocy. The other ushered in a new one.
    - Transition, Iain Banks




    The chances are I broke my hip engaging in vigorous and empty sex that I was too old for anyway

    Cut me some slack, here,” Said Falk. “They shot me in the ****ing head, okay? It’s hard to concentrate.

    The problem with giving someone a nickname based on an item of clothing was that it became less and less appropriate the better you got to know them. Her name was already starting to eclipse his tag for her.
    He realised he could never really think of her as green hiker girl again now that he’d seen her naked.

    -Embedded, Dan Abnett



    However the process of robo-insemination is far too complex for the human mind!
    A knee high fence, my one weakness

  3. #3
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    "There is no problem that can't be solved with the proper application of high explosives."

    "Breeches love Bangalores!"

    "P for plenty."

    Combat Engineer words of wisdom
    C'est la vie. C'est l'amour. Cela est une pomme de terre.

  4. #4

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    “Sitting there on the heather, on our planetary grain, I shrank from the abysses that opened up on every side, and in the future. The silent darkness, the featureless unknown, were more dread than all the terrors that imagination had mustered. Peering, the mind could see nothing sure, nothing in all human experience to be grasped as certain, except uncertainty itself; nothing but obscurity gendered by a thick haze of theories. Man's science was a mere mist of numbers; his philosophy but a fog of words. His very perception of this rocky grain and all its wonders was but a shifting and a lying apparition. Even oneself, that seeming-central fact, was a mere phantom, so deceptive, that the most honest of men must question his own honesty, so insubstantial that he must even doubt his very existence.”
    ― Olaf Stapledon, Star Maker (AKA the best SF author of all time)
    Please support a Poor starving musician and buy my new album for only £5 :
    https://ionplasmaincineration.bandcamp.com/album/decoding-the-quantum-star-verses

  5. #5

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    "Anyone who must say 'I am the King' is no king." - Tywin Lannister

    "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." - Tyrion Lannister
    Read the above in a Tachikoma voice.

  6. #6
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    Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.
    -Liam Neeson




    My feminism has nothing to do with men. It is not defined as “equality for all genders”. It isn’t even about equality. I don’t want to be equal with men because I don’t like or want this patriarchy men have. My feminism is about liberation for all women, and an end of the oppression of all women, including women of color, immigrants, lesbians, and trans women. It is about equity- doing what is necessary to ensure everyone has a quality standard of life, has their human rights respected, and is free from oppression. I am not into definitions of feminism that are aimed at making feminism appear non-threatening to men. It IS threatening to them, and it should be.
    -Havlová

    Now I know logically it is historically impossible for Benjamin Franklin to have been a hentai enthusiast but have you seen a picture of the man

    And in time it came to pass that Leonardo DiCaprio, who was already a millionaire, won his meaningless bobblehead for playing pretend in some snow. And the LORD spake then unto the people, saying: “Lo, I have granted thy prayers: be content therefore, and obey the LORD thy God, and make no more memes.”

    But the people were foolish and sinful, having made idols of the Meme, and heeded not the voice of the LORD: and the new memes were plentiful and did multiply. And the LORD spake unto them again, saying “Please, stop: this hath not been funny since like 2013, if then.” But the people ignored him, for they were on their phones, tweeting #FINALLY LOL 😂😂😂😂. And the LORD regretted then that he had made man: and wise men likewise regretted that they had been made.




    Villain: *slices off piece of apple with sharp knife and eats it. With a smug and sinister smile he paces the floor*
    Hostages: *wait in fearful silence, anticipating villain's first lines*
    Villain: mmmm tasty apple me likey
    -Action movie

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gotthammer View Post


    Now I know logically it is historically impossible for Benjamin Franklin to have been a hentai enthusiast but have you seen a picture of the man

    OK I lol'd so loud the office girl stuck her head out the office. You won the thread.

    However the process of robo-insemination is far too complex for the human mind!
    A knee high fence, my one weakness

  8. #8

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    Every line of every Discworld book ever.

    Sir Terry Pratchett.
    Fed up for Scalpers? https://www.facebook.com/groups/1710575492567307/?ref=bookmarks

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Mystery View Post
    Every line of every Discworld book ever.

    Sir Terry Pratchett.
    Yes, but especially this one (for me anyway)@

    Soul Music
    Alfred: I brought you some Chamomile tea sir.
    Death: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A TYPE OF SOAP?
    Alfred: You can put it in soap or tea sir.
    Death: HOW VERY USEFUL, CLEAN INSIDE AND OUT.
    Either there is life in the universe more intelligent than us, or we are the most intelligent form of life in the universe. Either way, it's a worrying thought!

  10. #10

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    I know there's a million hilarious Terry Pratchett quotes, but I'm struggling to think of any particular ones right now. Good excuse to read Guards, Guards! again. Ah well, here's a favourite of mine from the similarly-hilarious Douglas Adams:

    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    Read the above in a Tachikoma voice.

 

 
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