Aldramelechs Forum Burp

[scadugenga]

I'm rather surprised your college filter is so harsh.

The uni I used to work at (thank you god/s that's the past...) had a ridiculously liberal filter.

Perhaps too much, as professors had been caught printing porn off the web. Heh. Christian affiliated universities...

10-1 those IT folks are probably playing WoW while your filter prevents BoLS...

[Hyperion]

Good God its Friday again...............

This week I have been on Holiday from work so Ive not had much time to compile stuff, so its more of a rant this week.

Last week you were deprived of any Burp at all and you can thank the good people of the IT Department (Tossers) at the college where I work for that. These computer geniuses have installed a new filtering system that has blocked BOLS completely because its about games. Now I have tried to explain to the half whits that not all games in the world are computer games and that there are many other types of games out there but this just confused the hell out of them and drew looks of pure incomprehension. I then tried to explain that this was a site where you could talk about games but could not play any games, that didn't work either. They really are a great set of guys, when I try to do some real work and my computer says "NO" can they ever fix it? Nope, their far too busy sucking the enjoyment out of the internet and banning everything in sight to do that, although I have noticed that their Ebay habit is still well catered for and Dakka Dakka has slipped totally under their radar. My Battle continues.............

So last Friday I left work far behind me and looked forward to a nice relaxing weeks holiday. Due to various reasons that include my plastic and resin addiction, Mrs. Aldramelech's desire to remodel the bathroom and the world wide financial meltdown this unfortunately does not involve jetting off to a sunny beach where I can wear impenetrable shades and gaze at topless women all day. Still should get plenty of painting done Eh? Ohhhhhh No. That means something far more sinister.......... Day trips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I have a solid set of rules for a happy holiday that I have developed over the years:

1/ Snow. I don't do snow in any way shape or form. Why the hell is speeding down a mountain dressed as a Power Ranger and ending up in Hospital with 6 broken bones fun? Buggered if I know.......

2/ Wildlife. I do not go to countries where the indigenous wildlife actively tries to kill you. I do not do spiders in toilets, scorpions in shoes, sharks in the water, snakes in cupboards or cuddly looking large fury predators that want to eat you. I have a theory that Australians are so laid back because their already dead and they know it. No Worries Mate!

3/ AK47's. I do not go to any country where 75% of the population own AK47's. There's something about that weapon that brings out the worst in people.

4/ Daytrips. I will do everything in my power to avoid, wherever possible, going on daytrips!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now Mrs. Aldramelech cannot drive, there many and various reasons for this, but lets just say that the population of Great Britain and Northern Ireland should be thankful that this is so. Unfortunately this also means that during the six weeks school holidays she can only take Little Miss Aldramelech out on public transport (and as we live smack bang in the middle of England's biggest holiday destination, with 10 beaches within 20mins bus ride of casa la Aldramelech, whats the problem I ask?) all of which means that when I get the week off, she insists that we jump in the car and behave like the Tourists I spend 6 months of the year cursing for generally getting in my bloody way! We even have a name for the Bastrds.... Grockle's.

So on Tuesday the Aldramelech Women decided that they would like to visit a popular water park on the English Riviera. What does Aldramelech think? Aldramelech thinks this is a bad idea and tries to explain that being a large mammal he shoots down water slides at twice the velocity of his much smaller brethren. My objections were of course overruled.

Two hours of wet and wild fun (I use the word loosely) Aldramelech is effectively crippled.

Yesterday she who must be obeyed came up with a very special form of torture. I was forced to drive for an hour and a half, right past the entrance of the Bovington Tank Museum, to Monkey World. Three hours of wandering about looking at very bored looking rescued primates (one wonders if they would have preferred to stay in the lab with an endless supply of cigarettes and makeup rather then a rubber tyre) the highlight of which was walking through the Lemur enclosure.

Yes the opportunity to walk among them so long as you don't Feed them, touch them, take flash photo's of them or breath in their general direction. As it was they spent most of their time hiding in the inaccessible corner of the enclosure and when one did venture in our direction Little Aldramelech got jumped on by a very serious teenager in an official T-Shirt because she was within 1 meter of King Julian.
And all the time I was being teased by the sound of the British Army playing with their Challenger 2 Tanks on the driving ranges less then a mile away.............. She is a cruel, cruel woman.

As I type, the Females are emerging from their respective pits and I sit here with dread awaiting todays itinerary.

So back to work on Monday (thank you god) where hopefully the filter will be sorted out (they've had a week for gods sake) and we will return to the burps regular format.

Until then, Happy Holidays everyone!

I know the feeling... I had to go ABROAD for two weeks and then she made me have conversations and eat at restaurants and stuff. Right now I have about one eighth of a will to live...

[eldargal]

Topless women are overrated in my opinion. Hurts when I run.

I'd rather go to the tank museum, I see no point to monkeys. Can't eat them or wear their skin, they aren't half as funny as chavs. I'd rather watch tanks trundle about with their big, erect cannons and whatnot.
Waterslides are no good to me either, owing to some genetic stuff up I have none of that nearly invisible downy hair stuff on my body and the lack of friction tends allows me to reach unnatural velocities and I get friction burns. Once I skipped over the water like a stone, would have done myself an injury hitting the wall had I not slammed into a convenient fat man.

Yay forum belches.

[scadugenga]

Once I skipped over the water like a stone, would have done myself an injury hitting the wall had I not slammed into a convenient fat man.

This conjures the oddest of images...

There should have been a Looney Tunes theme going on in the background for that.

[kevinmcd28]

Topless women are overrated in my opinion. Hurts when I run.

...... had I not slammed into a convenient fat man.

Convient fat men are very much convient XD

[Bigred]

Aldramelech, that was one heck of an entertaining story! Dont give up on those IT guys.

Eldargal, such a tease, everybody knows Autarch boobs don't bounce. The codex artwork proves it!

[Duke]

Convient fat men are very much convient XD

and fat.

[Duke]

Aldra... Where is the forum burp?! The powers that be demand a forum burp... Or at least a song to support Liverpool.

Duke

[gwensdad]

aldra... Where is the forum burp?! The powers that be demand a forum burp... Or at least a song to support liverpool.

Duke

burps for the burp god! Quotes for the throne of perv!

[Aldramelech]

The IT idiots will not relent! Unfortunately the inclusion of BOLS Arcade means that the ban will not be lifted, I might at some point in my working day be tempted to play a game other then solitaire and the fabric of reality might fail as a result!

Although it seems quite simple the Burp is quite time consuming and involves me spending alot of time on here, time that has now been drastically reduced and I am very busy at the moment trying to get a complete FOW army done in record time.

Also the Burp depends alot on you guys as well and things around here have been rather slow of late.

The Burp is not dead, but it is in hospital and not doing well...........