So when we don't have rum, we turn to Vodka. The superior, more evil drink to Rum. Some people point out that Rum was drank by pirates, and I say that if Johhny Depp can drink it and be a good guy then I'll be damned if I can.
The DE fluff and units are just that good. I mean really, none of the over-the-top craziness of Blood Angels, and even a humorous nod to the "Eldrad is a Dick" meme in more than a few lore pieces (obviously substituting Vect for Eldrad). So here I am to discuss the awesomness of the Kabals. Not the Wyches, or the Haemonculai covens, just the standard Kabals.
The first and most important question, of course, is "what is a Kabalite unit?"
In addition to the obvious (Kabalite Wariors/Trueborn), there are a few clues throughout the codex. Kabals are more like organized militias in the 5th edition DE codex, so looking for clearly organized shooting units is a god example. And of course, Archons and special character Archons are leaders of their respective Kabals. Finally, Kabals rely on muscle. So while, they aren't the lithe dancers of the Wyches or the horrendous mutants of the Haemonculai, Kabals tend to favor signs of outward strength and toughness.
Here is my list of "Kabalite" units:
Adrusaebel Vect
Lady Maliyce
Duke Sliscus
Archon
Archon's Retinue
Raiders
Ravagers
Venoms
Trueborn
Warriors
Vect is obviously the very first thing that springs to mind when considering the overall design of a Kabal. Or at least, the concept of the vastly impressive leader of the dark eldar. He knows everythign before and after the game starts. He is impossibly skilled and wields the most dangerous wargear known to man and dark eldar alike. he laughs off blows that would kill a lesser being. And of course, he is ALWAYS in control of the situation. 240 points would be a lot were it not for that ridiculous power to seize the initiative on a 4+. Abuse the hell out of this rule. You will not believe how severely it can affect your opponent, knowing that there is a 50/50 chance that they will suddenly be under the gun on the first turn. Force your opponent to overestimate your abilities and it can be just as useful as their underestimating them. We get to the weaponry and Vect is just as impressive--a 2+ invulnerable save, I8, rerolls to hit anything and rerolls to wound against Eldar units, the most accurate small blast in the game with a max deviation of 4 inches, and said balst is both AP3 and restores previously lost wounds. He even comes with his own (vastly overpriced) transport.
The Dais, unfortunately, is the opposite of Vect. Armor 13 is pretty awesome, but it boasts none of the survivability of a standard Raider, Ravager, or even Venom. The Dais, you see, has none of the shields that protect its lesser cousins from return firepower (these being Nightshields and Flickerfields, which protect less costly units with greater firepower admirably. Also, it does not have the Aerial Assault special rules to let it use it's monstrous firepower on the move. So a fast moving Dais is at best an AV13 Predator with a flat-out save.
Malys is a very impressive special rule wrapped around an effective model in is own right. Deployment and maneuver are key to the dark eldar, and like Vect she affects your game before either side moves an inch. Suddenly, that powerful flank attack vanishes, leaving your opponent wildly out of place. She is the exact opposite of Vect, in that where Vect is a character that delights in going second and reacting to opponents, Malys is a character that does the same by going first. She's also the smartest way to include a Djinn blade in your army--all the best methods for two attacks, with the least devastating downside. However, there are better close combat units, and they can even manage a shot or two. Malyce should be bought for her deployment rule, but she won't be a slouch if used correctly later on.
Sliscus just hammers the idea home: Dark Aldar Archons are at their best when deploying units. Seriously, just look at this crazy badass: options when rolling combat drugs, option to deploy everything in the army by deepstrike, 3+ poisoned weapons, armor and invul to soak up wounds. Sliscus is the bridge between Vect and the rest of the eldar, a character who bumps up everyone a little and turns good units into incredible units. Sliscus himself is a little less impressive in his statline but makes up for it with a phenomenal selection of wargear--this guy can do just about anything on the battlefield, including shooting and assaulting mechanized infantry. The problem (and it's not much of one) is that he's a sort of locked role in your army. He buffs a bunch of units, then you hope he survives until something comes within striking distance. Where Malyce and Vect can really mess with your opponent's head at the beginning of the game, Sliscus is an open book who does a bunch of very impressive tricks out in the open.
"Bog Standard" Archons are a testament to game design, and perhaps best call back to the powerful Daemon/Witch Hunter "design a ridiculous hero" builds of 3rd edition. Less than a hundred points buys you a statline that the most powerful Space Marines find enviable, and weaponry and gear to make it work. Unlike the named characters though, you get no special rules past those of the normal DE. Even so, you are working with a model that can bring down whole units on its own. Utterly destroying a carnifex brood single handedly, for example, is a wondrous thing.
Archon Retinues are cool ideas with poor rules. Bluntly, everything is done better with other units. the lohamea, for example, can only affect 2 different weapons in the unit (splinter pistols and shardcarbines), while the roles of Sslyth are better handled by other high-toughness units like grotesques, wracks, and Haemonuculai. if you like the archon's Court, leave the points open for the wondrously ridiculous beastmasters.
Tune in next time for more semi-drunken ramblings!