Safe Sane and Consensual, or The Arrogance of Playstyles.

[Charistoph]

So, the comments went pretty much as I expected (folks getting defensive, protecting that masculinity, whatever), but I wanted to chime in and say that this was the greatest single thing I've ever read on a gaming forum. It isn't just advice for gaming- it's advice for living well. Well friggin' done.

To true. I read it as the OP was talking about being a jerk, not targeting competitive play. There are jerks on every side of this game, from fluffy players which snobbishly deride you if the number of purity seals on Tactical Marine #II-5 is wrong, to people who don't realize you're a new hobbyist and say, "you should thin your paints" without explaining what they meant, and casuals who blow by rules just to make the game run quicker while ignoring important steps or gossip-snipe you behind your back.

But let's face it, the first place we go when we think about jerks are those competitive types, just as when we think about sleazy people we think used car salesmen or politicians. Why? Because it is easier to catch them at it? Because when we think competitive, we think of those jocks who gave people swirlies in grade school? Or is it just because it is harder to identify the fluff-jerk or the casual-jerk?

In one case on the original post, the guy didn't know he was going to be a jerk because he hadn't thought things through to see it from the other person's perspective. As soon as someone pointed it out, he thought about it, he changed his mind and stopped himself from being the accidental-jerk.

Key point, just be aware of others and try to avoid being a jerk.

[mattblowers]

That was a good read. My only critique would be the observation that many players don't know what type of player they are. Honest self-assessment should come first before you are able to articulate that to others.

[Alaric]

Helluva article man, thanks for taking the time. Agree on all fronts, Im surprised this isnt on the front page.

[Grand Master Raziel]

Its 2015, talking to an opponent before the game is easier than ever for even the most socially inept gamer, its not hard to take a few minutes to chat to have a good game, its going to be 2 hours of your life, spending an extra few minutes before hand isn't a big ask!

That might have worked in 3rd/4th edition days, when more people were playing 40K, or it may work at large LGSs with a big tabletop gaming community. In my experience, there may be only one other person looking for a pickup 40K game, and if that person's play style is too far away from yours, the game is likely to suck. So, your options are a bad game or no game.